GET IN THE KNOW with Dr. Jeri Dyson

It's not always as easy as it looks

2011-12-05T15:48:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,

I can recall a conversation I was having with my father. I had just been rejected for a new venture and was taken aback. With his years of wisdom and experience in public relations he shared some great advice with me:

"You can learn while you're 'behind the scenes' and come out ready or you can be promoted too soon, learn on stage and loose a lot of people along the way. Sometimes you don't have a choice but if you are ever given the choice to do one or the other: always get the skills first then grab the mic."

Often times we want something and have no real idea what it takes to acquire and MAINTAIN the thing we so desire. (Your desire can be anything from becoming a performer to running a company.) We look at others who seem to be successful at the same task all the while thinking: "Awww, I can do that. That's easy." Well most people who make these kinds of comments usually have no idea of what it really takes to pull off such feats.

It's always easy to sit back and imagine yourself doing something especially if the one you're watching is good at it. Professionals have a way of making difficult tasks look seamless but things aren't always as effortless as they appear.

Do you remember when I submitted my 3-minute video to Oprah Winfrey Networks for my TV show idea? By the time I mentioned the proposal to a friend or two I had a professional producer, a professional make-up artist, professional writers, camera/lighting and sound crew, acting director, teen actors, an editor and a few more people I'm forgetting - all for a THREE SECOND VIDEO... In total there were about 50 people who worked on that ONE project!

If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm a medical doctor by trade, so the whole experience from creation to production was new for me. I had made guest appearances on other people's shows but this was my idea so everyone was looking to me for clarity on what I wanted to present to the network. Needless to say my learning curve was very steep that day. I presented my ideas but as a novice to television production I was smart enough to listen to the experts and do what they suggested.

At the conclusion I had a video I was pleased to present and an unforgettable experience I will always consider my "show business crash course." It was exhilarating but it was also VERY DEMANDING...

The next time you see someone great doing something you think is "so easy" don't underestimate the time and talent they put into being great. It's not always as easy as it looks. As my dad says, "Learn the skill in your down time and be ready for your curtain call." GITK Teens, the world is waiting for your arrival so show up in a GREAT way!!! Have a great week. We're waiting for you!!!

Black Girls: Should we Celebrate or Castrate?

2011-11-07T16:54:00.000-05:00

GITK Family!
You all know me by now and one thing I will not stand for is the mistreatment of women especially teen women. A good friend, Dr. Scyatta Wallace, recently published an article "Gold Diggers, Video Vixens & Jezebels" in the Journal of Women's Health. Their research was in response to YEARS of previous articles on the sexual roles of African American women. This subliminal demonization of African American women has gone on for tooooooo long!

Sociologists have been characterizing Black women in particular through a number of derogatory messages for centuries. Then a few months back Psychology Today released a pseudo-quasi-research project as truth; proposing they had proof that African American women are "less attractive"and "less desirable" than other women. Now I could go a number of directions in addressing these papers but that isn't the point of this post.

Initially I thought, "If women rise above and ignore these crazy comments, they won't effect us" but I have observed quite a few young ladies negatively effected by this stereo-labeling mental abuse. Obviously, we all aren't able to hear the reports, realize they aren't about us and move forward. So I want to direct this post to all of those who continue to fire spiritual/mental arrows directed to the Black woman's psyche.

Initially this post was something I blogged in disgust a few months back but decided not to publish. Then my best friend called today and said she heard a discussion on the radio where an African American male radio host asked his audience: "Do we really need a show dedicated to the achievements of African American women called 'Black Girls Rock'? Why do we need to isolate ourselves with this title?"

Are you kidding me, Mister?! This media venue chose to celebrate African American women for their accomplishments and he's up in arms about the title of the event? (The sad part is that he's not alone in his thinking.) It amazes me how those same people seldom rise to the occassion when Black women are being verbally assaulted. I do believe that teen girls of all ethnic groups need to be celebrated, told they are smart, intelligent, beautiful, creative and compassionate; but how often are our BLACK girls hearing this?

Just because I celebrate my uniqueness and ethnic creativity doesn't mean that I in any way devalue any other ethnic group.

We each take our turn on the stage in front of the spotlight. Let them cherish this moment. Don't dismiss the accomplishments of these young ladies simply because you feel the name causes division. The next time you hear a young woman being called a "bitch, ho, tramp, gold digger, slut..." allow that same angst you have against the name "BLACKGirls Rock" to rise within you to put a stop to those labels; because unlike the organization's name, these titles leave scars that we don't heal from so quickly.

This week make a POSITIVE change in someone's life... ...start with yourself. Remember if you're gonna raise a stink about something pick something that really matters.
(Submitted with love in my heart.)

Forgiveness is the Key

2011-10-26T13:46:00.000-04:00

Hey, GITK Fam I know it's been a minute since our last chat but I'm still here.

As a physician it's my job to help people who are ill: both emotionally and physically. Part of my aim in providing stellar service to my patients is to help them determine the root cause of their illnesses. When we look close enough we can see the association between many physical sicknesses as manifestations of emotional blockages or conflicts, namely unforgiveness.

I see people angry with parents, upset with grandparents, mad at their siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children... the list can go on & on...

The one tested key to release us from this type of emotinal bondage is "forgiveness." Walking around with unforgiveness effects your countenance and your interactions with others. Holding on to someone else's offense only makes you ill.

Forgive Yourself
Forgive Your Offender
Sometimes when we're completely honest with ourselves we can even be mad at God.
I once heard my mentor say, "Holding hate in your heart against someone and not forgiving them is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

Be healed. Enough said.
Have a FANTABULOUS Week!!

NETworking or Working a NERVE?

2011-09-26T15:29:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

These past few weeks have been super busy with meetings and speaking engagements. During many of these events I shared the platform with some highly influential people. With so many people gathered for these events we usually have an opportunity to exchange contact information. This is known in business circles as networking.

Networking can be exciting for some and rather tedious for others. As with any event there are people who come to these engagements simply for their own benefit. These personality types aren't really interested in connecting with others as much as getting out their own plans. The ones who stick out the most are those with hidden agendas; they usually aren't headliners but have backstage access or gain entrance by acting like they're "with someone."

I am well aware that it takes a large number of people behind the scenes to carry out any event worth its weight in gold. However, there are always those hagglers who hang around yet add no value to the event. You can always tell these types because they often do things to be seen: they may walk in front of the audience or try to interact with the headliners in the background simply to be noticed. There is a time and place for everything. People with the lowest self-esteem often try to push themselves from the background to the forefront.

Networking is a valuable tool in business but there is a fine line between "NETworking" and "working a NERVE." If the aggressive networker is your personality type I have one piece of advice for you. In the words of my dearly departed Little Mama (grandmother): EVERYBODY SEES YOU. NOW GET SOMEWHERE AND SIT DOWN!!!!

The most confident person is able to be around great people without pushing themselves forward. Use your energy effectively to hone in on your skills; your gift would make a platform for you and bring you before great men so chill out!!

9/11 - Don't Forget to Remember

2011-09-10T13:22:00.000-04:00

GITK Teens,
This Sunday marks the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 Tragedy also known around the world as "September 11th." Last weekend one of my younger neices was hanging out with me. While we were riding in the car she began telling me about this TV special she saw where "these two planes out of nowhere crashed into these two tall buildings in New York."

I sat in the truck for a minute then turned to her and said, "Did you forget about the other two planes? One crashed into the Pentagon downtown and the other in Pennsylvania." She looked at me rather puzzled especially since she's only 8 years old and wasn't alive to remember the events that day.

I shared with my neice exactly what I was doing the very moment those planes hit the Twin Towers: driving on the beltway between Washington, DC and Baltimore headed to the hospital. I was approaching the exit for Baltimore Washington Airport when it seemed like every car on the highway began pulling over onto the shoulder. It seemed as though we all were looking into each other's eyes wondering if the horrible news was true. What was a helpless feeling. In those initial days we all searched for answers.

My niece sat in amazement that I could remember exactly what I was doing in that moment 10 years ago but couldn't remember what we were told to pick up from the store 10 minutes ago.

I also shared with her the sense of togetherness Americans had in the weeks and months following the tragedy. There was a strong feeling of community even among strangers. People were pleasant. Folks who would barely make eye contact with you before 9/11 were suddenly genuinely concerned. It's amazing how 10 years can cause us to go from expressions of love and appreciation for one another to what we have now, a society that bickers over the most insignificant issues.

I want to challenge all of us to broaden our remembrance of 9/11 to encompass the love and respect we held for one another - as humans. We have to get back to that place of respect for one another. In remembering all the details of the events of 9/11 my prayer is that we remember to appreciate one another.

Have a fantastic week, GITK Family!!

Really?!! Who Does That?!!!

2011-08-15T21:49:00.000-04:00

I have quite a few friends in entertainment and one thing you can always count on are people acting like they're in the know when it comes to the rich & famous. Most people find this behavior amusing but at times it can be down right obnoxious.

(Disclaimer: In no way do I consider myself a star but I believe sharing this story will help make my point clear.)

A while back I took an administrative role during an awards ceremony to help a friend. My assignment was to check the actual awards and make certain the names were spelled correctly on the engravings. As I stepped up to the point person I said, "The awards should be under the name Dr. Jeri Dyson."

There were only four of us at the warehouse so any conversation could easily be heard by the others standing nearby. All of a sudden this stranger steps over and says to me, "I know Dr. Dyson. She does a lot of talks on STDs and teens."

Before responding I thought to myself: obviously you don't know her as well as you claim since you're talking to her (me.) Instead of confronting him I decided to play a little game with him. I went on to ask him how well he knew "her" and if she was a good doctor...

I couldn't help but stare at this stranger who talked about me as if we were really good friends. After 5 minutes of talking about myself in third person I decided to do the big reveal. The whole experience was kinda weird. It would have been funny if I was in a costume but I wasn't. His short conversation with me only confirmed what I often tell my mentees:

Don't be so quick to believe every inside scoop you hear about others from the folks who claim to know them so well. The people doing all of the talking are clueless and the ones who really know don't make a habit of talking about it.

Now you're really in the know... GITK Teens, enjoy your final days of Summer! Make these last days the best days ever!!

Don't Be so Hard on Yourself!

2011-08-05T05:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Teens,
Do you sometimes find it easier to forgive others than you do yourself?
Are you too hard on yourself when you make a mistake?

In life it is possible to experience so much hardship until we become beat down by everyday situations... The last thing we need to do is beat ourselves into the ground. When you feel less accepting of yourself or your actions I want you to try this mental exercise:

Have you ever heard the word "affrimation?" Affirmation describes the process of declaring support for something or someone.

Find the closest mirror and look at your reflection without judgement or criticism... Just take a long look at yourself. Sure there are things you need to improve upon, but in this moment I want you to affirm (declare support for) yourself. You're always looking in the mirror anyway, now you can do someting productive as oppose to "picking yourself apart."

Look into the mirror and tell yourself the following:

"You may think there's a lot wrong with you, but I know there's a lot RIGHT with you."

Self-affirmation opens your mind to the possibilities of an improved life without being so pessimistic about where you are currently.

I want you to tell yourself this everyday for the next 20 days (sometimes it takes a bit longer for your mind to believe the words you speak about yourself.)

Try it!!

Manners 101: Gratitude

2011-07-25T16:51:00.000-04:00

This summer my friend hosted a Teen Camp exclusively for girls.  On the first day the camp director asked the girls what they wanted to become in life. From the information provided she decided to host a Career Day.

During the event she had someone represented from the following disciplines: law enforcement, military, education, health care, the beauty industry, politics, social services, private consultation services and legal... She asked a few of her influential friends to come in and share with the young ladies and I was honored to be amongst the presenters. (My former Congresswoman's daughter was also on the panel.)

Each speaker took the time to bring books, pens, wrist bands, pamphlets, jewelry... There was even an iPod available for one fortunate winner.
There were about 30 girls present during our session. Of course, more began to trickle in as time passed. As the gifts were being presented to the young ladies I quietly observed.  Each girl was making certain she wasn't being overlooked when it came to the gifts. As I observed I noticed something: not ONE GIRL said "Thank You." I thought for sure I must have overlooked their gratitude.

As the next presenter began passing out items I zoned in on each girl as she received her gift. Again... No one parted their lips to say "Thank You" they simply began investigating their items to see how different theirs was from the one seated next to them.

GITK Teens, a spirit of gratitude and a simple "THANK YOU" can work wonders!! Sometimes we may need the occasional nudge to utter those two words but let's not make that a habit!!!  Eventually (after a gentle reminder) these young ladies did say "thank you." Saying "thank you" may seem trivial but you would be shocked to learn how a spirit of gratitude opens you up for more blessings.

How many times have I seen teens who expect their parents and older family members to do for them? I believe in giving gifts to people; but adults are in NO WAY required to give you anything just because "they have the money."

I don't know where the confusion came in but we are not genies. Parents and adults aren't required to grant your every wish. You can't just rub our wallets and get whatever you desire. The word used to describe this mindset of being owed something is called "entitlement." (The connotation of this word is usually negative.)

GITK teens please make it a habit to show gratitude to others. This trait will take you very far in life.

I want to take this time to Thank YOU for sharing my GET IN THE KNOW blogpost with your friends.

Have a great week!!!

Keeping Our Children Safe from Predators!

2011-07-18T05:00:00.012-04:00

In the past few days I have been hearing more alarming news about child abductions, molestations and even child murders! A friend and I were talking about the recent overwhelming cases of child abuse & neglect. She is also a Pediatrician and was wondering how she could keep her son and daughter safe this summer. We were discussing some of the things they shared when she turned to me and said, "I'm trying to scare them to death so they'll stay away from all danger." That may sound like a good strategy but in reality fear tactics only make matters worse.

A close friend, Dr. Scyatta Wallace, is the founder of THE MIND MAKEOVER TM (http://www.themindmakeover.com/) a series of self-esteem workshops designed to bolster youth. Recently, Dr. Wallace conducted an IMPORTANT interview on The Michael Baisden Show. The subject matter was "Child Molestation and Teaching Our Children About Inappropriate Touching." This show is definitely worth hearing with your children.

*PLEASE listen to this podcast in its entirety.*

CLICK BELOW & TAKE A LISTEN:

http://www.baisdenlive.com/podcenter.cfm?itemCategory=39369&siteid=217&priorId=0&eventSearch=8130

This week's GITK blogpost is not meant to bring darkeness during your summer but enLIGHTenment to your everyday life! GITK family, it's time to wake up and really HELP our children become the phenomenal people they are destined to become. Part of that preparation is protection. Have a fantastic summer but most importantly have a SAFE SUMMER!!!

NIP IT IN THE BUD!!!

2011-07-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

For the past few months I have been sending "not-so-subtle warnings" to a friend about what I saw as imminent danger ahead. At first I rendered a soft warning but somehow my friend wasn't picking up on my clues. Weeks went by and I saw my friend suffering more and more. By now some of her other friends had joined in my aria as we transitioned to a chorus of cries. We couldn't bear to see her in such misery, that's when I had to bluntly bottom line it for her. I wasn't harsh but I did let her know that her actions would lead to more pain should she continue to ignore the warnings right in front of her face.

Needless to say she still didn't "get it," in fact she pushed us far away from her because it was after-all "her life to live" so I along with the others left it alone...

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. By the time her eyes opened and her smokescreen cleared it was almost too late. Her situation was full-blown!! By then she's screaming for help begging someone to pull her from this pit of despair. She found herself too deep inside to climb out solo - so she had to wait. And wait she did... It wasn't that people were trying to teach her a lesson. It's just that she had broken connection with the one group of friends who had her best interest at heart.

Funny how most people don't hear others when they try and tell them their boat has a leak in the bottom... Many would rather wait to see ow it's gonna work out then go into a PANIC 5 seconds before the whole boat is submerged. Life does not have to be this way!!!!

Learn from my friend's bad experience. When you are warned about a small issue that may become worse, take time and deal with it immediately. "There's NO NEED TO PANIC! Just FIX IT when you FIRST SEE the problem!!!" The older folks call that "nipping it in the bud..."

HAVE A GREAT WEEK, GITK Family!!!!

Have a Spa Day at Home

2011-07-04T23:31:00.000-04:00

Happy Summer Vacation, GITK Family!!!

Some friends and I needed some rest and relaxation so we decided to spend a day at the spa. Everything in the spa looks so wonderful especially if you're experience is a` la carte (meaning you order additional spa services from a menu.)

hot stone massage...

body scrub...

mud bath...

waxing...

pedicure...

manicure..

facial...

acupressure...

signature spa services...

By the time we finished being soaked, scrubbed, pulled, tweezed, fed and massaged we were relaxed to the max.... Somehow seeing that final bill at the cashier's desk brought back all of our tensions!!

All these items add up... I started thinking, there has got to be a way to create this same level of relaxation from home without spending an arm and a leg. In this month's GITK blog, I'm going to show you how to create an asylum in your home/dorm room without using all your money.

Teens spend an average of $10 billion each year on personal care products per some market researchers. From this you can see that teens are willing to pay BIG BUCKS to feel pampered. Sure, it's OK to treat yourself every once in a while if you have the money but don't break the bank searching for the tranquil you in an expensive spa. Here are some things you can do around your house.

1. Cleaner & Clearer: Start off with a clean space (your bedroom, dorm room, living room or bathroom). The cleaner your surroundings the easier it is to relax.

2. Melt the Day Away: Run a nice bath of warm water. You can add milk, your favorite fragrance, flower petals or fragrant bath salts. To enhance the atmosphere even more try lighting a few tea candles, dim the bathroom lights, pop in your favorite CD of relaxing music and drift away.

3. Unplug& Recharge: This one requires a quiet place. Start by turning off your technology stuff: laptop, cellphones, iPad... You can even unplug your home phone or turn down the ringer. Find a comfortable chair or create a palate to rest on. As you're relaxing begin to think about how relieved you are the day is coming to a close and simply release all the stress from your mind while you allow your body to relax. This is not the time to think about all the things you have to finish, simply chill and just be.

Check back with this blog for more tips on making your world a more relaxing place. Make this the best week ever!!!

Happy Father's Day!!

2011-06-19T12:48:00.000-04:00

Some friends and I were talking about how Father's Day is often an overlooked day of celebration. Children often do phenomenal things for mothers on Mother's Day. We make breakfast in bed, take them to brunch, buy expensive gifts and on and on... In our haste to head off for summer vacations some of us forget that special day set aside to remember dads.

GITK Family, take some time to celebrate your father. Many teens are angry because they feel their father was "never there." Instead of sulking over who hasn't been there, stop and think about who HAS been there for you. Your father may have come in the form of a grandfather, godfather, older brother, mentor or uncle. Whoever has stepped in to take the place of a biological father in your life, CELEBRATE THEM and OPENLY APPRECIATE them TODAY!!! One can never underestimate the importance of a father.

GET IN THE KNOW with Dr. Jeri and Dr Jeri Speaks would like to wish all the wonderful fathers a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!!

How to Avoid Burnout: Just Say No!

2011-06-14T10:59:00.000-04:00

Over the past few months that I have been going and going and going like the Energizer bunny. Simply out of control. A close friend and I were trying to 'catch-up' between flights. She was at the airport in one city and I was at the airport in another. In her frustration she said to me, "I'm not volunteering to help out another cause, join another movement, or motivate another crowd until I get some REST." I completely understood what she meant. Like hers, my schedule had become ridiculous!

In our attempts to help everyone else out, we sometimes sabotage our own efforts. Take it from me, people will suck up all your time if you allow them. Don't listen when they say, "It will only take a minute of your time..." Time is a priceless commodity, no matter how small it all adds up. Minutes add up to hours and hours quickly become days ~ PRECIOUS LOST DAYS!!

GITK Family, I had to readjust my schedule. (You may laugh but some of you reading this blog could use a schedule readjustment or two.)

During those months I was in the airport so often the foodservice people thought I was part of the flight crew. I had too many speaking engagements overlapping. Don't misunderstand me - I love playing an integral a part in events but not at the sake of my sanity.

One weekend I had three separate events in two different climates ~ one on the HOT WEST coast and the others in the COLD Midwest. It wasn't until I was gone that I realized I had not packed appropriate attire for the second leg of the trip. I had approximately FIVE HOURS to land, drive home, repack, get back to the airport and take-off to the next location. (Trust me, that was definitely an oversight during booking.)

Most of the people who complain about doing too much can solve their own dilemma with a simple "NO." In that moment I decided I'm only accepting those engagements I enjoy doing and have time for. No more double booking events. My conclusion: If I have to cram in dates to accommodate others' needs my answer would be flat out "NO."

Not:

I'll think about it...

Let me get back with you...

I'll see if I can rearrange my schedule...

A simple NO.

It can be so difficult for some of us to simply say NO because others expect so much from us. So what?!!! In order to maintain some semblance of sanity I determined my answer to those time consuming events would be a simple, unapologetic, ever resonate NO.

I challenge you to learn when to say NO and when to say YES!!! You'll be glad you did. Make this a GREAT WEEK, GITK Family!!

Wonder Woman is a cartoon character!!

2011-05-30T09:44:00.001-04:00

This week's post is dedicated to all my GITK ladies who "run the world"

Being a woman in today's world carries many different definitions for people. Some young ladies are trained to believe womanhood is synonymous with "independence." On one hand independence is great! But independence to the extreme becomes "self-reliance" and that, my friends, is not a good character trait.

This past weekend I was in the grocery store and I saw another lady with a set of infant twins (one screaming at the top of his lungs), a shopping cart full of bags and a rambunctious 4 year old grabbing for candy in the checkout lane. The bagger asked if she needed help to her car and she quickly said, "No. I have it..."

The next day I observed a lady at the airport's baggage claim with waaaaaaay too many bags to handle on her own. A gentleman also waiting for his luggage came up beside her and said, "Can I help you remove those heavier bags from the conveyor?"

"Oh, no. I GOT IT" was her response.

All I could do was to think to myself: "It's OK to let somebody else GET IT sometimes. It doesn't make you less of a woman."

Being powerful while continuing to express your femininity requires a delicate interplay of skill and finesse. (Please note: I'm not referring to using your sensuality to manipulate people... that's a whole different blogpost.) When I saw these ladies I couldn't help but think: "Where did this Wonder Woman mindset come from?"

Maybe it was The Women's Liberation Movement???? No, I don't think so. Women's liberation was not designed to "take away" our womanly traits. It was established to give women rights and privileges so we could be acknowledged fairly for our contributions to society. This movement was pivotal for women but I believe we moved pass the intended mark into a different realm.

I have spent time with some very powerful women executives and discovered that there is a time to be the "Power Suit" but eventually you have to take that power suit off. This idea of women as "Supersexualized Sensual Sheroes" has got to end. You may remember the popular 80's TV commercial for Enjoli perfume that tried to make women think they were super-human:

I can put the wash on the line, feed the kids, get dressed, pass out the kisses and get to work by 5 to 9..

Cause I'm a woman...

I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

And never let you forget you're a man...

I can come home at five o'clock

Come home and read you 'Tick & Tock'

And if it's lovin' you want I can kiss you and give you the shivers ----

Women have become so accustomed to doing everything that many of us leave little room for people to come in and assist us. Ladies, it's OK to let someone else have your back!!! It really is. Don't misunderstand me. I am not downplaying our contributions. And I also understand some women have been forced into these take-charge positions by circumstances beyond their control... But don't allow yourselves to stay in that place because it's not healthy.

I enjoy being a lady and I enjoy the freedom to implement my dreams as envisioned. Yes, there are moments when I'm "running the show" but I never let those moments of "Power" usurp the times when I should step back and let someone else "run the show."

"Running the show" is one thing but "Running yourself in the ground" is a totally different matter.

Ladies, please remember: Wonder woman is a fantasy cartoon character... Don't try to bring her to life!! Make this a great week!!

Don't Reject the Ones Sent to Help You

2011-05-20T20:00:00.001-04:00

GITK family,
A friend and I were interviewing candidates for our new business venture. One of the young ladies referred to us had convinced herself she was at the "top of her game" when in fact she had a lot to learn! In an attempt to improve on her business presentation the gentlemen with me tried to offer her some constructive criticism. After hearing his feedback the young lady immediately became defensive and was treating the situation as if she was being attacked.

From that moment I knew she wasn't open for suggestions or our future business. All I could do was think to myself: "Why would I offer her help when she thinks she knows it all? If you don't want our help we can't make you receive it."

Many times in life when we operate in our emotions we can easily reject the very thing/person sent to help us.... (and this lady needed MAJOR HELP!!!)

If you ever have the opportunity to receive wise counsel be mature enough to open your mind, listen carefully and grow from the advice. WE ALL could use some expert advice from time to time. Don't be fooled by how a person looks or presents themselves... just get the information.

I'll share a quick story with you:

There was a wheelchair-bound man who had experienced recent flooding of his home. Refusing to leave when the warning was issued, he prayed to God and asked Him to send angels to rescue him. A neighbor was driving his truck through and knocked on his door, "I'll give you a ride to a safer place. Come with me."

"No, I'm waiting for God to send His angels and rescue me."

Eventually the man ended up on the roof of the house. Still praying and waiting for his angels. A few hours later two men riding on a boat yelled for the man to get in the boat with them.

He replied, "That's OK you can keep going. I prayed to God and asked Him to send an angel to help me."

As the waters began to rise higher and higher. He prayed again: "God don't let me die out here. Send an angel." Some time had passed when he was awakened by the noise of a helicopter hovering over the house. The rescuers were yelling for him to grab the rope.

"Nope. God's gonna send an angel."

It was moments later when the man drowned and went to heaven. When he stood before the Lord, he asked Him, "Why didn't you send angels to help me?"

God looked at the man with love in His eyes and replied: "I sent a man in a truck, two men in a boat and a team on a helicopter... What more did you want?"

You may be looking for your help to come from one direction yet God has another plan. However it comes: Don't Reject the Ones Sent to Help You. Simply be OPEN and WILLING to change.

Make this a GREAT week, GITK Family!!!

Emerging & Becoming

2011-05-08T23:38:00.001-04:00

GITK Family,
It seems like everywhere I look people are enthralled with butterflies. I see butterflies on clothes, jewelry and even wall decals. My cousin and I were recently talking about butterflies and she mentioned how butterflies emerge from a cocoon. The weird part was that I just saw an episode about butterflies and moths on the children's television show "Little Bill" before she made her comment. After watching "Little Bill" I learned that butterflies don't emerge from cocoons; moths do. I hear countless people walking around talking about how they themselves are simply "butterflies emerging from their cocoons." Often we ignorantly repeat comments without checking the facts so I was lead to do a little research...

Butterflies and Moths may look alike but they actually function totally different from each other.
For starters:

Butterflies have thin smooth bodies, are active in the daytime, can be extremely colorful, and experience their pupal stage in a hard structure called a CHRYSALIS.

Moths have thick fuzzy bodies, are active at night, are usually dull in color and experience their pupal stage in a soft silky structure called a COCOON.

Both insects live primarily on liquids they suck for food but butterflies eat nectar or sap while moths eat on decaying items. Moths also chew holes in clothing & linen in an attempt to extract nutrients. Moths cause destruction whereas butterflies represent new life. There are some exceptions to these rules: although day flying moths are brightly colored don't be fooled because this variation of moth is extremely toxic.

Should you ever decide to refer to yourself using these winged creatures as an example of where you are in life, be certain you know which one you plan on becoming. Will you be like the moth and breakforth from a cocoon using the remainder of your life feasting on dead things, dead ideas and fruitless ventures?

Or will you be like that butterfly emerging from a chrysalis full of color (life), making the most of your day, feeding on the sweet nectar of life? The choice is yours.

(Oh, remember: Just because its flashy & colorful doesn't necessarily make it a butterfly! Poisonous moths can also be quite colorful so use discernment.)

This post is dedicated to all my butterfly lovers. Keep flying and make this a GREAT week!!!

Let Christ Rise in You!!

2011-04-26T11:17:00.001-04:00

Many of us spoke of the resurrection of Christ this past weekend as if this was the only time we could celebrate and recognize his sacrifice for us. Now that the weekend is over and things are "back to usual" it's more important to allow Him to rise up within US so His light can shine on a dying world.

I often look at the state of affairs around me and wonder to myself, "Have we really allowed our lives to shine forth the love of God or have we become like the religious characters who fancy in talking about God yet opt not to intimately know him?"

Just questions I ponder when I look at the world. There are more organized religions, spiritual groups, new age movements yet there seems to be little resolution of "major issues." Please don't let this past weekend be reduced to people competing for "best outfit" awards or recognitions for "most in attendance." I heard people running back and forth in preparation for the weekend with plans to hear this one speak or that one sing... We have to challenge ourselves to rise higher.

I believe one of the best ways we can honor our stand for Christ is to allow HIM to stand UP & RISE on the INSIDE of US! Have a fantastic week!!

Listen to Your Inner Voice

2011-04-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

GITK Teens,
It is important that you learn early in life to listen to yourself. Many times we get "feelings" about situations and people that we can't always explain. We can avoid many of the dramatic episodes in our lives by simply taking heed to that quiet voice within.

At other times we need to listen to that same voice when it tells us that someone is a good person.

Let me give you an example. A friend of mine often doubts her ability to properly judge situations and people that come in her life. She likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and in doing so is often disappointed by the final outcome.

As you gain more independence you will have the opportunity to meet all types of people: some great some not so great. God places within each of us the ability to judge situations and stay clear of trouble. When you're with a person and you get a strange feeling that you shouldn't be connected with this person by all means leave them alone. Who knows. You could be saving yourself years of drama and pain.

Begin to listen to yourself. If you're not getting a clear message, pray about it and revisit the issue.
In the words of Dr. Spock, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."

Make this a great week.

Take Another Leap!

2011-03-28T20:00:00.000-04:00

Great Monday, GITK Family!

A friend recently shared with me how miserable his current life situation had become. He said he had been fighting and fighting to make things better for his family and that he was tired and wanted to quit. During our conversation I saw the passion begin to leave his eyes. He looked at me and said: “I guess this is how it’s gonna always be. Me taking one step forward and five steps backwards. I might as well get used to it. This is my life.”

I shared this with my friend and was lead to share it with you:

Don’t get accustomed to how it is now. Don’t get "used to it." Some of us have become accustomed to being sick, miserable, broke, lonely, unhappy, unhealthy and just flat out tired. When deep down inside we’re longing for better.

Circumstances and situations can cause us to become so frustrated with past failures that we begin to believe our doubting thoughts: “I’m destined for failure. I’m destined to be alone, broke, sick…”

Doom is NOT part of your DESTINY!

Never settle for less just because it’s a familiar space for you.

I dare you to be courageous and take another leap of faith. You may be thinking, “WHY?!! I have failed so many times at the very same thing. Why should I try again?” Because failure is only failure when you fail to try. Push pass those negative comments in your head and refuse to settle with how your life is now. Push pass the jitters it takes to try it one more time. Who knows…. This may be the very time you win! You can never soar if you don’t take a leap.

I dare you to take another leap! I triple D dare you!! I believe you can SOAR!!

It's "Tech-free Week"

2011-03-21T13:25:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,
I was recently invited to an all-star celebration to honor some of today's finest musicians, actors, thinkers and philanthropists. Everyone in my group was super-excited to be at the event. The first thing we did after finding our seats was pull out the cellphones. Looking back you could see all twelve of us just typing away. Some took the time to update their Facebook statuses, while others were tweeting short "shout-outs." Needless to say: Fingers were flying!! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! is all you could hear.

My friend's husband startled us when he yelled out:

"Everybody, JUST STOP!! How often do we have free time to get together? And now that we are together nobody's talking! Put those phones down and let's talk."

The response from my group was funny. Some people looked back at him as if he had three heads, a few of my friends finished squeezing in the last few characters of their messages and the rest of us simply responded to his plea for "human" interaction by placing our phones away. I have to admit it was hard carrying on a conversation after Will's comment. I started to think, "Have we lost our social skills?" But finally, we came up with an interesting subject and went on from there.

I hear adults fussing at teens for being engrossed with their cellphones and other techy gadgets but this group was all over 35. I believe we can ALL benefit from a week of "gadget abstinence."

I want to challenge the entire GITK family to interact with your friends and family for ONE WEEK and avoid texting, tweeting and facebooking during those conversations. It may sound a little strange but we cannot afford to loose the social graces that I see being overlooked in our day to day living.

Stand with me and together let's learn to 'talk to one another!!"

Join the Tech-free Week!!

LIP LAP Love

2011-03-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,
since 2011 rolled in I have experienced one fantastic moment after the next!! Life keeps getting better and better, or as my great aunt would say "gooder and gooder."

Just this past weekend I attended the memorial service of my father's best friend: Donald Benjamin. Uncle Benjamin was a professional artist and a great thinker. During the memorial service friends and family shared all types of wonderful stories about Uncle B. People reminisced on conversations and "Moments with Ben" each one just as touching as the previous! There were accomplished dancers, jazz & blues singers, artists and poets all gathered together to pay homage to someone who touched their lives intimately. We even had a New Orleans brass band to help us "second line" from the chapel to the repass. I could hear how intuned with LIFE Uncle Benjamin was from each performance rendered.

His memorial service started me to thinking: "How often do people squander away precious moments on this earth to make a great impact on someone else's life?" We have become so bogged down with trivial meaningless things that life for many of us has lost it's splendor!! I was resting that night after the repass and began to think about my OWN life. I heard these three words: LIP LAP LOVE!!

LIP: Live in Peace (Let conflict go. Most issues are not important enough to hold grudges with people. Sometimes we have to let the other man win to truly experience victory.)

LAP: Laugh at Problems (We often let our problems consume us, when that happens you're no longer able to hear solutions blowing in the winds of change. Release your hold on the problem and watch your solution begin to manifest before your eyes.)

Finally, LOVE as many as you can as hard as you can!! Your love will begin to bring color to a gray world!!

LIP LAP LOVE!!!

Have a fantastic week on PURPOSE!! I LOVE you, GITK Family!!

Second SOS Summit!!

2011-02-27T19:39:00.000-05:00

Calling all TEENS in the DC, Maryland & Virginia area: Join me at George Washington University on March 12th for the 2nd Annual DIVAS, MPH sponsored S.O.S. (Saving Our Sisters) - Awareness and Skills Building Summit. Don't miss radio/TV personality "Kitty of the City" Jeannie Jones of WKYS/Fox 5 Morning News, Saturday, March 12th 9AM-5PM

We'll be addressing communications skills
Performing FREE HIV tests
Networking with other fantastic teens from the area
Connecting you with trained mentors
Free Food, Prizes and Giveaways

Funger Hall George Washington University
2201 G. Street, NW
Washington, DC 20052
(2 blocks from Foggy Bottom Metro Station)

To register for this dynamic FREE event go to: www.soshealthsummit.com or call (301) 651-8978

No Strings Attached!

2011-02-12T20:48:00.001-05:00

GITK Family, Valentine's Day is a time of year when people are busy buying candy for loved ones, making dinner reservations, and purchasing cards that express their true sentiments. Love is a wonderful thing but make certain that's all you're giving out on this holiday. Have you ever heard the saying, "Beware of people bearing gifts?"

I recently heard a male friend warn the single ladies not to loose their minds (or their clothes) when it comes to the gifts and fanfare of Valentine's Day. His advice: "A simple thank you will suffice for any act of kindness." If they are requiring more from you than a 'thank you' then it's not really a gift.

I once had an associate who would offer people things only to throw it up in their faces later. This is what I would call "a gift with strings attached." Manipulative people present gifts with the expectation that the recipient will give them something in return. That's not a gift. If you choose to show acts of kindness toward another on Valentine's Day it's OK but you should never feel OBLIGATED to give someone a gift, especially your body.

Before you sign on and except any gift make certain there are no strings attached. Enjoy today and remember to show LOVE EVERY DAY!!! Make this a great week.

If you haven't heard it today, I LOVE YOU!

Open Yourself to New Cultures

2011-02-06T14:00:00.001-05:00

Open Air World Market courtesy of Flicker

GITK Teens,
I recently went to a popular restaurant for dinner with some friends. While we were all glancing over the menu one of them shouted out her dislike for the type of cuisine we had chosen. "Yuuuuuuck! This stuff looks so nasty!! Who picked this place?"

None of us responded we simply urged her to give this new place a try instead of being so judgmental. By the way this same person told us 4 weeks before dinner that she was called to international living. Seriously? It amazes me how some of the very people who consider themselves "global" have great difficulty enjoying other cultures including their cuisine.

"If you're so international, what are you planning on eating when you take all these trips overseas?" was my remark to her.

"Well I guess I'll just have to bring my food with me."

All I could do was place my forehead in my hand and take a deep breath. She was a "lost cause."

I didn't take my friend's comments too seriously but in all truth in order to get the best options in life we all need to expand our possibilities. It's important to be open to new foods and cultures. Try a different food you've never had before. If you aren't as daring go with a friend who has eaten that type of cuisine they can help you make good decisions.

When you open yourself to other cultures you get a chance to see how SIMILAR we are as opposed to the differences some choose to focus in on. It's a wonderful world out there ENJOY it!!

Make this the BEST week you ever had!

Run YOUR Race!

2011-01-23T21:10:00.001-05:00

One of the most irritating things for me is when I see people demanding you follow rules they don't follow themselves. I often hear people trying to implement their rules onto other people; so concerned with what their peers are doing they can't get their own work done.

I've been told that I often compare life to sporting events so here's another one...

If you are a sprinter or swimmer the one thing you can do to guarantee a loss every single time is wonder what your competitors are doing in their lane. I have a friend who was a professional sprinter at one time. He said he remembers early in his career running the 400 meter event and turning his head to the side to see how close his opponent was. When he finished the race his coach had some choice words for him... I would share exactly what the coach said but someone from "blog patrol" may shut my site down, so I'll give you the clean version:

"When you're running on my team I need your entire focus to be on what YOU are doing: your breathing, your arm movements, your footing, your form, YOUR pace... Once you have focused your attention to those matters you shouldn't have enough energy remaining to lend towards others' affairs. If I catch you looking into another runner's lane again that's it for you!"

I could just imagine his coach spit-elling (spitting while yelling) at him after the race. Needless to say he didn't win that race but it wouldn't be long before he learned his lesson and starting creaming his competition.

Life can be like a race so here are some tips to keep you winning:

Keep your eyes fixed on the finish line (your vision.)
Don't allow the behavior or misbehavior of others to distract you from your race.
There will be occassions when you should focus on those around you but you have to know the proper timing; during your race is NOT the proper time!!

GITK Family, make this the BEST WEEK EVER!!!

What is America's Mystery Diagnosis?

2011-01-14T12:27:00.000-05:00

There is a show that comes on the Oprah Winfrey Network (formerly the Discovery Health Channel) called Mystery Diagnosis. The show features uncommon medical conditions that are often misdiagnosed. Many if not all of the illnesses featured on this show will lead to death if left untreated. Watching this show and the current events within this Nation started me to thinking: "What is going on with America? Are we really 'the land of the free and the home of the brave'? Hmmm..."   As I pondered, I thought about the human body.

When a person first contracts a bacterial infection, the body will manifest signs of this illness long before most people stop to recognize the problem. During the intial moments of attack the person may begin to feel "run down" or less energetic. As hours pass and the body mounts its own defense to stop this "invader" from recking havoc it generates intense sensations of heat commonly referred to as "fever."  The manifestations of this infection may progress to coughing, chest pain, nausea or even diarrhea. By this time hopefully the person has recognized that something has gone awry. Failure to yield to these signs as a warning will only result in delayed care or even worse further complications.

America is and has been expressing symptoms of an illness that is not uncommon to her but will lead to our further demise if not properly identified. Although we walk around pretending to be healthy and immune ignoring this illness will only make us sicker. Have we allowed the symptoms of blatant intolerance of each other to continue without recognition? Not only is America suseptible to this illness we are very much so infected. We can no longer mask the true illnesses of our Nation.

In the medical arena patients commonly want physicians to prescribe medications to "alleviate the symptoms" and make the patient "feel better." They respond, "Who cares what the problem is just get rid of this pain!" We can not alleviate the symptoms while overlooking the source of the problem. Similar to finding a natural cause for the illness America must seek help from a spiritual standpoint to truly reach the core of our problems. This illness is OUR illness! There is no "us" and "them." We can continue moving forward acting as if nothing's wrong or we can recognize the symptoms and take the appropriate steps to eradicate Racism, Hatred, Ostentatious Pride and Intolerance. These are what my friend Dr. Greg Hamptom refers to as "the other STIs"- SOCIALLY transmitted infections.

Like most infections if not addressed properly it will easily transfer to others - the most suseptible being our children.  Let's not continue to transmit this sickness. Cover your face before you sneeze on me - I have my own issues to deal with...

In remembrance of the life & legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. make this week great!!

Make the WAY-SAFE: Disagree with Decency!

2011-01-09T20:00:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,
the events of this weekend's shootings in Arizona really stopped me in my tracks. Please understand my heart, not to minimize other acts of crime that go on in the world but for some reason the Arizona shooting caused me to pause mentally. (if you don't know what I'm talking about look it up)

The ironic piece in this shooting was WHERE it took place. It was during a Town Hall Meeting in front of a popular grocery store in The States that goes by the name of Safeway (SAFE-WAY.) The events taking place in front of that store were anything but SAFE. There were children and other innocent bystanders there to hear the concerns of the community.

At what point do we as adults choose to "grow up" and voice our differences with words that bring enlightenment instead of actions bringing fear and more hatred? Our choices must always leave a legacy of pride, understanding, community and a sense of hope. No matter the situation HUMANS should be able to handle discrepancies honorably.

The reason I'm so disturbed is because adults often look at teenagers and say "Yuk! Teenagers... What's wrong with them?" I had a woman ask me this very question earlier today. My response was,

"Our teens and children are mirroring what they see. When adults come to me telling me that teens are out of control and crazy out of their minds, it's only because they are direct images of what they see acted out before them."

If we want our children and the world to change, we as adults MUST CHANGE FIRST! No longer do the rules of "Do as I say and not as I do" apply. We shouldn't use violence as a means to quiet a voice even if we disagree with that voice. We won't all agree on everything. Learn to disagree with decency. Our children are watching US!

Remember this the next time you look at a teenager. Before you decide to count them out and say this kid is a lost cause, see yourself in that teen and teach them a better way. It's time for us to make the WAY-SAFE for our posterity. Let's take the path of peace.

My girlfriend said it best, "We better start loving the HELL out of folks."

Twenty Ten: A Year in RE-VIEW.

2011-01-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

GITK Family, Happy New Year!!!

Everyone is making resolutions and setting goals for the new year. Before any of us can successfully move forward we need to carefully examine where we are currently.

On this month's Keys to Health I share 8 tips with my GET IN THE KNOW family on how to avoid REpeating the mistakes of 2010. Here's a quick overview:

REview your year- take the time to see what did and didn't work for 2010.
REnew your mind- to transition from "drab to fab" sometimes all it takes is a new mindset
REnounce negative comments that have been spoken over your life- disagree with the negative words that have been spoken over your life.
REstate your new truth- there is power in the words we speak so speak great things over your life.
RElease people from offenses of your past- we all make mistakes. Let's not hold others hostage for the wrongs they have done to us. Release so you can increase
REposition yourself- if you want to begin to see things differently, change your vantage point.
REsist the urge to do the same thing- only fool does the same things and expects different results. (I know you're no fool)
REpost this message.

For specific tips on how to take these eight steps into a brighter future go to http://www.drjerispeaks.com under the Keys to Health. Make TWENTY ELEVEN the best year yet! On your mark, get set.... GROW!!!! Happy New YOU!!!

Dr. Jeri Speaks: The Sequel

2010-12-20T12:46:00.003-05:00

GITK Family,
I have received report after report of bad news from friends and family. This 2010 holiday season has been filled with challenges that would make even the strongest person bow their head in defeat. In the midst of it all I have determined that we MUST persevere in order to obtain those things we desire.

Recently talking with friends we all came to the same conclusion:

Events and circumstances of today IN NO WAY dictate our final outcome.

I don't know how familiar you are with the character Jason from Friday the 13th horror movies. Jason is an evil slasher in the movie that goes around torturing people. In each movie the other characters try multiple times to end Jason's life. No matter what tactics they use Jason NEVER dies. Everytime you think the movie is over and Jason is dead here comes another sequel.

In life we can bow out and accept defeat or rise from the ashes and continue fighting. It's a weird analogy but I have determined to be like Jason. (No... I'm not going to start torturing people!!! ) No matter what crazy report I receive or how many times people count me out, I'm coming back stronger than ever! That's my outlook for 2011:

Dr. Jeri Speaks, the Sequel: Stronger than ever!!!

Cherish the Wonders of the Season

2010-12-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,

this past week was a really challenging one for my family. We had one family member admitted to the hospital, one diagnosed with cancer and another involved in a horrible accident where she had to be cut from her car with the 'jaws of life.' Thankfully, they are all recovering slowly and things are looking much better.

With all the hustle & bustle for the holidays, this week's events brought things into perspective for me.

One thing I know for certain is that every moment we have to share with family is precious time. From the nightly dinners to the ride home from school - every moment is to be cherished because you never know when it may be your last!

I want to challenge my GITK readers to relish these moments with family and friends. Don't allow this holiday season to be reduced to clothes, cellphones, laptops, PS3, X360 and Wii! Use the days home from school and college to reconnect with cousins you haven't seen, share stories with grandparents, and love on your younger siblings. Each moment is precious!

From my family to yours,

Happy Holiday and Happy New Year! I'll talk with you soon.

TOP SECRET: Words of Wisdom from Folks Who've Been There

2010-12-04T12:35:00.001-05:00

This weekend on Dr. Jeri Speaks Radio we shared some secrets about "hooking up" (sexually) for the holidays. My special guest, Egypt, and I gave advice to the listeners about dating and sexing for the holidays. This week I want to share some words of wisdom from some folks who have been in these tough relationship situations. From exchanging sex for gifts to meeting the family, we discussed it all!

I'm certain these secrets will give you the upper hand in dealing with sex & relationships.

A female friend of mine, Ayana gave out some wonderful advice for women who make the following comments:

Girl, I know he loves me cause I know how to put it down sexually.

Ladies if you are having sex with different men and are known for "getting around", go sit and listen to a group of men, who are having sex with women like you, talk. Just because you open yourself up to them doesn't mean they respect you and just because you're "good in bed for the moment" doesn't mean he's gonna "wife" you. Respect yourselves & your bodies.

Author, nationally known speaker Bo Beaudoin shared words for women who consider all men dogs:

These men out here are dogs!

"If God has only designed ONE man that is perfect for you... Why do you care that all the rest of them are dogs? Keep your heart, mind, and eyes open for him, he's the only one that counts anyway, right? Don't be so mean... Fix ya face... Be ready for love."

My special guest Egypt also shared simple words of wisdom for the ladies:

"A man will become anything he needs to become so he can cum. Just because he takes you home to meet his family doesn't make you special. You may be one of many girls his family meets during the holidays."

I even shared a secret or two with the listeners:

"Never put a price tag on your body. There is NO GIFT that can compare with your body so don't sell yourself cheap."

GITK family, this should be enough wisdom to take you through the week. Don't be an EBC (evident boodie call) for the holidays! Be encouraged and enjoy your holidays.

If you think these tips were good check out Dr. Jeri Speaks radio show http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drjerispeaks

Episode: "Can I Be Your Friend for the Holidays?"

Make this a great week!!

The virus that wouldn't leave.

2010-11-29T01:30:00.004-05:00

lady in red by godlike86

(I love this picture, the color, the composition. The birds in the background taking flight, the winds of change... It reminds me of the current season with Autumn leaving and Winter quickly approaching. Thanksgiving is gone but like an unwelcomed guest HIV has decided to stick around a little longer...)

December 1st is World AIDS Day!!

People all around the world are hosting different types of events this World AIDS Day to inform, educate and enlighten others about this deadly virus.

You may not be infected but we're all affected. This December 1st commemorate the many LIVES touched by HIV. Be a part of something positive within your community!!!

Visit these sites to find activities near you on World AIDS Day.

http://www.whocanyoutell.com/

http://www.sisters4sisters.com/

http://www.worldaidscampaign.org/

Learn my 5 B's of HIV to avoid transmitting and acquiring this virus that just won't let us alone!

"Dr. Jeri's 5 B's of HIV/AIDS transmission:"

Blood: contaminated blood products

Body Fluids: vaginal secretions and semen

Breast milk: breast milk of an HIV infected mother is another way to transmit the virus to infants

Birthing: an HIV infected mother can transmit the virus to her baby at any time during the birthing process, especially if she is not taking medications to prevent the baby from acquiring the virus

'Banging': sex of any kind, especially unprotected sex will place you at risk for acquiring HIV

For more information on HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, visit my website www.drjerispeaks.com and go to the FACTS page.

Not certain about your status? I want you to "Be Positive You're Negative" get tested for HIV!! Make every moment of your life count.

Thanks to Those who "Live to Make Lives Better!"

2010-11-22T11:00:00.002-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, GITK Family!

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of a charitable season for most people. It's a season that brings out our most compassionate side... that is until Black Friday at the mall-LOL.

Seriously, Thanksgiving is the time of year where organizations gather food baskets for the less fortunate, churches provide meals to the homeless and young people opt to check off the community service box by volunteering at the soup kitchen. All those things are wonderful but I have one point for us to consider:

Aren't the homeless and less fortunate hungry EVERYDAY?

Let's not wait until the holidays to show "good cheer" only to return to our self-absorbed worlds once the holidays are done. We should find the time to help people EVERY DAY. There are people, organizations and religious groups that provide shelter, food, clothing and care for people who have experienced loss. I applaud those organizations for their tireless efforts YEAR ROUND!

I want to GIVE THANKS to a few of my favorite organizations in the Washington Metorpolitan area who "Live to Make Lives Better!"©

First Baptist Church of Glenarden

Sisters4Sisters, Incorporated

DIVAS, MPH

SHABACH! Ministries (FBCG)

Bea Gaddy Family Center

(This is a small list of the organizations in my area that are helping people on a DAILY basis.)

Thank you for considering others in your EVERY DAY activities. Your work does not go unnoticed!! I want to challenge the GITK family to "Live to Make Lives Better!"©

Be blessed this week but more importantly: BE a blessing.

If you are affiliated with an organization that helps the less fortunate EVERY DAY, post their names below or hit me on FBook and Twitter/drjerispeaks. Let's give them a shout out of thanks!

Speak The TRUTH

2010-11-14T10:00:00.001-05:00

GITK Family,

this picture sums up exactly what I have been thinking.

Over the past few weeks I have interacted with a number of people who say one thing and then do the EXACT opposite. Their behavior doesn't line up with their verbage. Their words sound good but in actuality it's not truth. It disturbs me when people try to trick others into thinking they are for them when they aren't.

I posted a comment on Facebook some time ago:

"It's difficult to be honest with me when you are lying to yourself."

The heart of a person is manifested through their ACTIONS not their words.

If you are ever confused about someone's truth, always look at their ACTIONS. The reason I like working with teens is their uncanny ability to be honest compared to adults. Youth innately don't create fake worlds with their words, that is a learned behavior.

Most adults teach children to communicate dishonestly yet want that same child to be honest with them. It doesn't work that way. When we teach children to be disingenious they turn into adults who "bend the truth" which is no good. As adults we need to let go of the double talk, our children are watching.

Let your 'Yes' be Yes and your 'No' be No... In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. (It's a simple truth.)

People can not read your mind so speak the truth even if your voice shakes... and say it from your heart.

I love you and make this a great week!

Halloween Is Over. It's TIme to Take Off Your Mask!

2010-10-31T21:40:00.012-04:00

GITK Teens,
Halloween is finally over!!! Can you imagine how strange life would be if people chose to wear their costumes and masks everyday? Well from an emotional standpoint that's pretty much what we have; people walking around in disguises never revealing their authentic self.

I was recently talking with some friends about how people tend to mask their true feelings. There are all kinds of reasons why people do this but women are especially good at hiding our true emotions. I have seen young ladies dressed "sharp as a tack" (old fashioned slang for looking really good) but on the inside they were emotional wrecks. I heard a keynote speaker talk about how she would hide her pain from others:

"I learned how to dress myself up and put on a good face. I would put on a
smile and press through the crowd, but if you cut me and flipped me inside out,
you'd see the pain."

Each of us has moments when we put on "the face" to hide various disappointments but this should never become a "way of life" for us. It's an unhealthy habit. The longer you wear this mask to hide your true sentiments, the less in touch you are with the authentic you.

A mask can present itself in many ways:

lying and saying that 'all is well' when in actuality life is spiraling out of control...
your need to be "the best" in every group...
covering emotional insecurities with physical masks like extremely heavy make-up and designer clothes...
plastering on a fake smile...
portraying an image of happiness when there is great saddness...

One of my mentees asked me why people hide their truth from those in a position to help. My response was simple, "Sometimes pride causes us to cover up the very things we need to reveal so healing can take place."

Unlike Halloween costumes most people can't see these types of masks so it's up to us to remove them and reveal our true self. When we hide behind our masks, we aren't able to receive the care we need for true healing to begin.

I want to challenge the GITK Family to stop hiding the real you. Begin to express your authentic self. Halloween is over!!! It's time to take off your masks!!!

Can "play fighting" lead to real black eyes?

2010-10-23T13:00:00.003-04:00

He didn't mean to punch me in the face, Dr. Jeri. We were "play fighting" and
it just got outta hand.

Say what?!!!

GITK Teens, comments like these are very disturbing to me because the person making them has no idea they are in an abusive relationship. I have my own opinions about "rough wrestling" and "play fighting" in intimate relationships. (If you have ever heard me speak in person you know where I stand on this issue.)

When I talk with teens who have been victims of dating violence one of the first things I need to establish, after helping them find a safe place, is getting them to see that "play fighting" in any form should NOT be tolerated.

"Play fighting" often escalates to REAL FIGHTING!

True loving relationships should NEVER make you feel intimidated, fearful, hestitant, manipulated or like you need to prove your physical strength.

(Take a look at the video clip below.) Join in as I lead the discussion "What You Don't Know Can Kill You! Real Talk for Real Women" Watch as these bold ladies share their feelings on "play fighting." Their thoughts may surprise you!

You tell me... Can play fighting lead to real black eyes? Leave your comment at the bottom of this post. (You may leave an anonymous comment if you'd like.)

Get a Grip on Yourself!!!

2010-10-11T10:00:00.001-04:00

GITK, Family! Why are we so critical of ourselves?

I'm too skinny...
I'm too short...
My skin is horrible...
I'm too nice...
I'm so stupid...
I'm too dark...
My hips are too big...
My shoulders are not broad enough...
My breasts are too small...

Oh my goodness!! GET A GRIP!!! Enough already with the HATER-ADE!!! (Hate is bad enough but when it's self-inflicted, that's just ridiculous.)

In life there are more than enough people willing to tear you down verbally. You don't need to destroy yourself with negative perceptions. People often speak of finding "love." They imagine this love silencing the ugly voices within their head for good. The sad part about waiting for someone else to "free" you from this place of despair is that you cage yourself in and block the love of another when you internally despise yourself.

I'll give you an example: I knew an acquaintance who constantly belittled himself. Initially I thought he was "fishing for compliments" (making negative statements about oneself for the sole purpose of receiving encouraging compliments.) I soon realized he sincerely disliked himself. Not only was this a downer for him but also for those around him. As you might have guessed this guy had problems maintaining strong lasting relationships. No one wants to hang around someone negative; their negativity sucks the life from you. None of us are perfect but you have to love yourself: flaws and all.

I want you to do this exercise my friend and I started doing in medical school. Every morning we would look in the mirror and stare for just 2 minutes (not making any comments, just looking.) Before uttering anything we would find ONE GOOD THING about ourselves and then say it OUT LOUD!! Yes, it sounds crazy but it will change the way you look at yourself!!

"Wow, my skin is really clear."

"I love the way my hair looks."

"I have the prettiest eyes."

"I like my smile!"

I can recall the times my niece would look at me and say, "Auntie Jeri, you have soooooo many moles on your face!"

I'd smile at her and respond, "You call them moles, I call them beauty marks."

GITK Teens, find something GREAT about yourself today!!

This is ONLY A TEST!!!

2010-10-04T13:00:00.001-04:00

I remember when I was a little girl, one of my favorite pastimes was watching TV. Every once in a while, the television screen would turn black and we would hear this blaring alarm from the television set. It was the emergency broadcasting system. At the bottom of the screen you could read the following statement in white lettering:

"The warning you have just received is a test of the emergency broadcasting system... If this had been an actual emergency, the attention signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This is ONLY a TEST!!!"

Sometimes in life it seems like everything is going haywire!! Crazy relationships, family matters, money problems, strange health reports. The list can be endless! We live in a time when all you have to do is turn on the radio or look at the news: it's one bad story after the next. Sometimes I feel like the wicked witch in The Wiz when she sang, "Don't Nobody Bring Me No Bad News..."

When things around us are crumbling down that's when we should all reach within and allow the love of God to reassure us that all is NOT lost! These reports are NOT final! Our life book is NOT over! These are just strange book chapters that give our life's story relevance and meaning.

Trials in life often teach us how to fight fears with faith (a knowing/confidence that whatever happens is in our best interest!) These life storms build stamina and reveal character. They are necessary for our proper growth!!

The next time you are bombarded by a plethora of bad tidings remember: "This is ONLY a TEST!!!" Until next week be the best you can be!!! For those of you weathering a storm right now, I hope you pass your test with flying colors...

Nuts Today. Oak Trees Tomorrow!

2010-09-26T12:30:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

I was in medical school the very first time I heard my mentor make the statement:

"Nuts Today. Oak Trees Tomorrow!"

Each of us has been created with HUGE dreams within us. Some of us have stifled those dreams. Others have allowed bad outcomes in our past to kill our dreams. But I say, keep pressing...

I was reading Paulo Coelho and he wrote:

"When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed."

In other words the bigger your dream, the less people will believe you're the one capable of pulling it off.

Has anyone ever called you "nuts?" I remember when I started GET IN THE KNOW in 2007 some people said, "That's crazy! You have a nice job, why would you want to branch off on your own? You're nuts!!" Those same people are just as miserable today as they were during our last conversation.

If you have ever seen an aged oak tree up close you can recall their enormous trunks! And let's not mention the extensive root system beneath the ground. All oak trees grow from small acorns. Many times we want the HUGE end results without the small beginnings.

I know a good number of people who followed their dreams and experienced great joy because of it. My sister started her business in her home with the support of her husband and children. Today her products are sold INTERNATIONALLY and featured in the TOP interior design magazines: http://www.lanakole.com

Don't despise small beginnings. Be patient and be persistent. Good things come in time. Just keep watering, weeding and watching. (All the while expecting an immense harvest.)

The next time someone refers to you as 'nuts' just smirk in their direction and say:

"Nuts Today. Oak Trees Tomorrow!!"

Be Productive this week and make it count!!

Who needs VIP status?!!

2010-09-20T17:00:00.001-04:00

I recently received an invitation to an exclusive event. I thought the invites were kinda creative. They were in the form of VIP Passes. I couldn't help but think:

"Who wouldn't want to be a guest at this party? If the invitations are like this, who knows what's in store for the evening."

It always fascinates me how some people go to great lengths to be given VIP (very important person) status. What is more amazing is how many feel like outsiders if they aren't included in the "VIP" clique.

From the inception you have to know that you are important even when other's don't recognize it.

I remember NOT being invited to this BIG shindig. It seemed as though everybody else was "in the house" but me- I was disappointed to say the least. At that time in my life, I allowed my emotions to convince me that EVERY-body but me was at the event. (Why do we make comments like this? If EVERY-body was there I would have been there too- DUH.)

Why do we allow ourselves to get in such a twist about feeling left out? Don't!! It took me some time but I eventually realized that I prefer being celebrated NOT tolerated. In other words, none of us should consider ourselves less important because we're not on somebody else's VIP list.

Living in D.C. you run into a lot of people who think they're muckety-mucks. I was hanging out with a good friend who told me, "I wish I was going to that party. All the VIPs are going to be at this reception."

My reply to him was, "Well, I know my name is not on the list because I'm not a VIP. I'm an EIP and you need top security clearance to get EIP status!!"

After pausing for a few seconds with bewilderment plastered all over his face he asked, "What in the world is EIP?"

I stared at him and said with a matter-of-fact tone, "EXTREMELY Important Person!!" We both burst into laughter and went on with the evening enjoying our time together.

Just know whether your friends tell you or not, I think you're an EIP!!!

Make this the BEST week of your life!

Be Still...

2010-09-11T06:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Family,

I have been going, going, going lately.

My body has been sending me signs that it's time to be still! And I am going to listen!!

I heard a wonderful physician once say, "God created us as human BEINGS not humans DOING."

At times our body has ways of telling us we are "Doing the Most" as my godson says. This week I will be doing the LEAST!!

I want to share a quote with you from Franz Kafka:

You need not do anything remain sitting at your table and listen.
You need not even listen just wait.
You need not even wait, just become still, quiet and solitary and the world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

This week I'm taking the advice of Frank Kafka and Tyler Perry's character Madea. I'm about to "Get somewhere and sat down!"
Until next time make this the best week of your life!!

Knowing and Doing are 2 Different Things

2010-09-06T07:00:00.003-04:00

GITK, Family!

I often hear adults talking about bad decisions people make. They make comments like, "He didn't know any better because if he knew better, he would do better." I tend to disagree with this blanket statement because "knowing does not equal doing."

For instance, you can talk to someone until you are blue in the face about using condoms to prevent sexually transmitted infections. I know teens and adults who understand the in's and out's of condoms. Those same people can even tell you a lot about STDs, HIV and pregnancy. These are the very same people who will come into my office infected or even pregnant...

"How?" you ask.

Because knowing and doing are 2 different things!

I hear teens talking back to their parents all the time, especially when they are being corrected for something they did wrong. All I hear from the teenager are the frequent irritating interjections said in a manner to quiet the parent, "I know... I know!!"

Just because you have the information doesn't mean you always use it. Information must have application to bring forth manifestation. In other words, you can have all the information in the world but if you don't use that information you won't benefit from it.

I have one piece of advice for you, family. Do like the older people say, "KNOW better and DO better." It saves you from a whole lot of drama.

Make this the best week of your life!!

Accept Your Individuality

2010-08-29T12:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

Each of us is placed on this earth to do something great. Something that only we can accomplish. We often limit ourselves by comparing our present state with that of our peers. Your thing isn't my thing and my thing isn't yours...

Accept your individuality. As a teen I can remember my friends all planning to dress alike, they would often wear identical outfits. Growing up attending catholic schools I wore unifroms Monday through Friday the last thing I wanted to do is dress like someone else in my leisure time. Planning to look like someone else only squashes your uniqueness. (Sidebar: Unless you're dancing in a competition the quadruplet look is a bit ridiculous. Even biological twins and triplets have their own identity...)

People will say they are expressing their creativity through their style of dress. When I look at some of today's teens I see a bunch of people walking around looking like clones. I heard a speaker say, "Everyone is looking for their purpose." I can tell you: Our purpose on earth is to make God big in the eyes of others. How we choose to express that purpose is our gift to Him. You can't do that by allowing yourself to be like everyone else and simply "blending in."

The longer I live the more I see how important it is to Just be Yourself. That sounds like a simple statement: "Be yourself." Duh- who else would I be? But I still see it in everyday life. People exerting so much effort to be accepted by others until they lose themselves in the process. Never turn down your light to make someone else feel comfortable in darkness.

Quit trying to talk, dress, walk or act like someone else. (If I'm trying to act like you, who's gonna be me? Nobody!) When I was in school we called this type of person a "copycat." Once you embrace your uniqueness you tap into your creativity and ultimately what you were created to do.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."

Make this a great week, GITK Family!!

Point to Ponder: What does "friend" mean to you?

2010-08-21T15:00:00.000-04:00

"Friend" is one of the most misused words in the English language. Second in line only to the word "love."

I recently went to a conference hosted by people with similar entrepreneurial interests. One of the main speakers came to the mic and his opening question was, "How many of you are my friend on Facebook?" He looked around at the hands in the air and from his expression you could see that he hadn't the foggiest idea of who these people were. His opener really started me to thinking, "How many people do we list as friends in our real life world who don't even know us?" The question is worth examining.

I remember a mentor of mine once saying, "The older you get the smaller your circle of friends becomes. If you can name 5 true friends, you're doing good."

With the advent of social networks like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and linkedin, people have a tendancy to think that all of those marked "friend" on their page is an actual friend. Think again... Just because you received a friend request from an old classmate does not make you friends.

You may be saying, "So what? Who cares if they're your friend or not. It's just facebook." It's important that you have a clear picture of who your friends really are, because only a friend can keep you to task when you're loosing focus. Only a friend will be there for you in times of disappointment and celebration. Only a friend knows the real you and chooses to hang in there anyway...

Teens (and adults) watch who you label as a friend, because a friend today can quickly become a foe tomorrow. Just because you two attend the same church, or have similar interests does not make you friends. If you desire to be a real friend, get to know the person a little more. Find out about their likes and dislikes. Interact with them on a more personal level - that's how you classify someone as a friend.

Stop counting the number of friends on your facebook page because those are only numbers. It doesn't mean that you're popular or an outcast. Don't put too much weight into it. I have seen teens become depressed over their limited "number of friends" on facebook.

Maybe we should email the creators of facebook and have them put up an "acquaintance" tag or an "associate" tag... I wonder how many friends you would have then? LOL!

Not fussing- just another Point to Ponder. Make this a great week!

Dr. Jeri's Board of Trustees

2010-08-14T22:00:00.001-04:00

One of my students texted me the other day. At the bottom of her text was the following statement:

"Who's on your board of trustees?"

My response to her text was, "What board are you referring to? My personal company or the hospital I currently work with?"

"Nooooo, YOUR board (your life, you as an individual...) That's my new tag line."

I had to think for a minute but it finally hit me. A board of trustees is an elected or appointed group of men and women whose purpose is to make certain the vision of a company is carried out. Before being appointed each member expresses understanding and agreement of the company's vision. By taking a seat on the board they agree to make certain the mission of the company is fulfilled.

She raised a great question with this tag line. I had to ask myself:

Who are the people I have placed around me to keep me focused on my goals?
Are the people of influence in my life even aware of my vision?
Are these people capable of giving me sound advice to stay afloat or will this board of trustees cause my ship to sink?
Do they have fresh ideas?
Do they have the expertise and know-how to help me complete the mission?

Summer is almost over and it's time for many of you to get "back in the game." These are some great questions to ponder during your "company" year-end evaluation.

GITK Teens, I challenge you to answer these questions and be honest with yourself. Many companies have collapsed because they had the wrong group of advisors. After you have answered these questions take the next steps to make necessary changes. It may be time to retire some of the members on your board of trustees.

Make room for "company" expansion and watch your life flourish in ways you never thought possible. Until next time, make this the best week you ever had!!

Stuck in Rearview!

2010-08-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

I was recently talking with a small group and one of the participants was having a difficult time moving forward with her life. She was at a vulnerable time when she was missing her ex. She kept thinking about the good times they had. How they would spend time together doing fun stuff. How he used to make her laugh.

One of the guys in the group made a great point:

It's crazy how we only remember the good times we had with a person after we break up with them. If it was all that good, you wouldn't have left in the first place!"

All I could say was, "WOW."

Tough circumstances in life cause us to look back and loooong for more peaceful times. I often hear people saying, "I remember the time when... ...That was so nice."

It's OK to think back on old times because our past is instrumental in shaping us. Where most people get "Stuck in Rearview" is that their "reminiscing" causes them to lose sight of all the good present before them NOW. You can't effectively move forward when you're constantly looking back.

It's not that the "old days" were so much better, it's just a familiar place for us. Familiar doesn't always equal good. Anytime you see yourself longing for "the good old days" take my friend's advice, "If it was all that good, you wouldn't have left in the first place!"

Just like in a horror movie, you're more likely to stumble when you look back!

Keep moving forward family!!

Foul Weather Friends...

2010-08-01T08:00:00.001-04:00

Like most things in life friendship takes time and effort to develop into something beautiful. I am sure you have heard about fair weather friends- the friends who only come around when things are going well for you.

But very few of us talk about foul weather friends- these people ONLY come around when things are going bad in your life. They're around for you to "cry on their shoulders" because they get a quiet gratification from seeing you in misery & pain.

Initially this would seem like a good friend to have around; someone who shows their support when you're at your lowest.... Don't trust it.

True friends are there for you in ALL situations in life- good and bad. They should be around to celebrate your accomplishments, cheer for your successes and support you in times of defeat.

As you change and mature some of your relationships will change too. If there are some signs that your friendship has become lopsided don't be afraid to reassess the relationship. Talk to them about it and wait to see things improve. If there is no change after you talk, you can decide whether this person needs to be in your close circle of friends or not.

I once heard a mentor say:

Take a minute and write down your 5 closest friends. If you look at your friends you will get a glimpse of who you are. Make certain you have great people around you it will help shape your future.

Fair weather or foul, you want someone who can cry with you and celebrate life!!

Time Wasters

2010-07-24T06:41:00.001-04:00

We all have a million things vying for our time: meetings, responsibilities, family, job duties, assignments... The list is endless!! One thing I have learned in my journey is that people will pull you off track if you give them the chance.

I was recently talking to a friend over dinner and he really helped me understand some things and the way people think. His advice, "Don't let people waste your time. Just because they are on break doesn't mean you're on break. When you are on a mission you can not afford distractions."

You have a choice as to whether or not you allow people to distract you. Remember: every choice we make has consequences, some good and some bad... So don't allow people to suck your time.

At some point in your life you should begin to make conscious decisions about your life. You no longer allow things to "just happen," not saying that you have control of everything that happens in your life but the decisions regarding your life should be intentional.

Come on, family: Tick Tock, no time wasting!!! Make this the best, most productive week you ever had.

Body Language Part 2: "Take those shades off"

2010-07-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Teens,

This is part 2 of the body language posts.

It's summertime and the sun is beaming! I understand the need to protect your eyes from the harsh sunrays, but really?!

You're inside, dude. Take those dang shades off!!

Why do people walk around inside with shades on? Why??!!! Is it to maintain your swag? Well it seems a little shady to me.

It's difficult for people to connect with you when you're shielding your eyes. It's almost like you're hiding something from them. In some cases it's considered rude to have a conversation with someone while you're wearing shades.

When you're outside on the beach wearing shades is understandable; but when you're indoors trying to spark a conversation with someone, be respectful and remove the shades! It's the least you can do to show someone respect.

Remember our communications tips from body language part 1: Slow down, look people in the eyes (let them see into your eyes) and smile with your heart. It's gonna be a great summer!

Body Language Part 1: "Smile at Me with Your Heart"

2010-07-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

Most of us live in a rat race world filled with "hustle & bustle." Our lives can move at such a fast pace that often we forget to slow down and fully engage in our interactions with others. I occasionally find myself talking to people without ever really acknowledging their presence. As we come and go our casual conversations can seem so rushed.

We see it everyday. People greet each other with common salutations without pausing for a true response. I hear people greet each other with such phrases as:

"How have you been?"

"Good morning, how are you?"

(or my personal favorite)

"How youuuu doin'?"

Then afterwards we'll paint on a fake smile that says "I really don't care, just trying to be polite."

I was walking through a check point and the person assigned to greet the guests did the strangest thing: she showed me her teeth. She may have considered it a smile but she should have informed the rest of her face. (LOL) I was thinking, "She can't be serious..." In most circumstances I would prefer a person to maintain a straight face than to present me with a disingenuous smile.

When people "show me their teeth" it reminds me of the angry warehouse guard dogs grimacing at intruders in the movies.

I'm not suggesting that you grin at people when you greet them either, just make certain your heart and eyes know you're smiling. Most people can tell if there is a smile in your heart to match the one on your face. Grimacing at people is considered rude in most cultures. In some cases this action may lead people to think you're dishonest.

How good are you at spotting fake smiles? Test your "real smile detector" on BBC (British Broadcasting Company) website:www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/index...

I attached this picture because I love the way Jill Scott smiles. Starting today take time to slow down, look people in the eyes and smile with your heart.

Point to Ponder: "Fertility vs. Futility"

2010-07-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Family:

every once in a while there are certain thoughts about life that just pop into my head. I could be in a traffic jam or waiting in line when this happens. Usually these thoughts are significant enough to make me stop and ponder. Here's one of my recent thoughts:

Summer is a time of relaxation and evaluation. It's a time for us to re-examine our numerous activities. Many times we find ourselves spread so thin that we aren't effective in accomplishing any of our goals. As a physician, author, speaker, motivator, friend, sister, daughter and auntie/mother I find myself pulled in so many directions... (I see you nodding.)

People often ask me to participate in activities. Some of these functions are great ideas but it may not be what I need at this point in my life to make my dreams a reality.

When it gets down to the wire and there are a million things coming at me all at once I have to find a quiet place and listen for God's direction. I will ask myself: "Is this activity going to be fertile or futile?"

Fertile: producing or capable of producing abundant vegetation or crops.

Futile: incapable of producing any useful result; pointless.

The words sound the same but are direct opposites. Have you ever agreed to be a part of something just to find the whole thing pointless?

Watch out; because some things that we consider pointless may have purpose down the line. For the most part you can learn something from every experience; but when you see an activity sucking away at your life like a high-powered vacuum, it's time to leave it alone.

The next time you find yourself being stretched mercilessly ask: "Is this fertile or futile?"

You'll be glad you did.

This is Dr. Jeri with another "Point to Ponder" (sounds like a commercial- huh?!)

Take Care of Yourself.

Access Granted

2010-06-29T01:53:00.000-04:00

This weekend I was granted passes to events for the 2010 BET Awards Show in Los Angeles. I stayed in quite a swank hotel for the weekend. There was so much going on just outside the hotel: the NHL draft, a movie premier, the LA film festival and 3 other events. (All of which I was totally clueless about.)

The habit of most humans in a new setting is to "stick with the scheduled plan" but you know Dr. Jeri, I had extra time on my hands so I started walking around. Coming down from the room I happened to be on the elevator with a young lady and asked her which conference she was attending. She was with Dwell Magazine ( an interior design magazine) for the Dwell on Design 2010 Exhibition.

After literally 60 seconds of chatting she said her company had extra guest passes and invited me to Dwell on Design 2010. This was an extra special treat for me because I really love interior decorating & design. No, I mean really... The conference even offered tours of upscale homes in the Beverly Hills and Ventura area. (Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time for the tours.)

While I was in LA, I got a chance to connect with some old friends and family members. They kept asking, "How did you get tickets? We LIVE here and can never get tickets to these kinds of events."

On the evening of the BET Awards when my friends and I arrived there were limos, security and cameras everywhere. I could see people bustling on the streets, hustling in attempts to get tickets for the various events. Earlier that week I heard people were saying some even demanding:

"Get my client on the list."
"Put me down with such & such. I'm with him."
"I need to be at that after party."

The calmest people in the crowds were the ones already assured of their admittance - they had passes. Life is similar to the events from this weekend. From time to time we all feel like God has forgotten us in one area or another. My advice to you:

Don't sweat it and don't start panicking. He has not and will never forget about you.

Things may not come in the timing you prefer but if you continue to walk along the path that God has created for you, He will place you where you need to be when you need to be there. Just avail yourself to God's open doors and walk forward.

Don't get frustrated, your access has already been granted!

See you inside!!!

Happy Father's Day!!

2010-06-19T10:00:00.001-04:00

Wow!!!

I am always amazed at how few people remember Father's Day. Mother's Day is celebrated each year in most homes without reservation. You see commercials, magazine ads, and radio spots 5 weeks ahead of that special day. Then you take Father's Day somehow it doesn't seem to be as recognized.

Now, I hear what you're saying and in most cases I agree. There are some dead-beat dads in the world, but let's focus on the men in our lives who have been there. If you can't recall any good times with your biological father, then think about the men in your life who have been great role models to you. Maybe you had a great uncle, step-father, youth leader, mentor, grandfather, neighbor or even a teacher... Just think back to the men who taught you how to stand on your own two feet and be a shining example for those that follow you.

Your father may not win the "Best Dad in the World" trophy but I'm certain you can think of at least one great man in your life. Take the time to celebrate him. You can send him a card, make a phone call or even spend some time with that person. If you missed Father's Day, no problem, there are 364 days left to honor some great man in your life. Take time from your busy day to honor your Father.

I want to wish a "Happy Father's Day" to my father, uncles, father-in-law, grandfathers, god-fathers, and older brothers. Thank you for all that you have done or said to me in the past to keep me moving in the right direction; not only do I honor you with my words, I honor you with my actions. I appreciate your kindness and love.

Where is the Love?

2010-06-11T12:30:00.001-04:00

Where is the love?!

I mean really... Does anyone love themselves anymore?

I find it so disheartening how our young ladies have all but sold their souls to receive love- and it's not even real!

Some friends and I were talking the other night at dinner. All of us deal with youth in one way or another: medicine, education, corrections. You name the vocation and it was represented at that dinner table. We began to share stories of how our teens, especially our girls have gone awry. The sad part about our conversation was that no matter how strange the first person's story seemed there was someone else with a more horrendous one.

Come on! What are we as a community of adults really doing to make certain our young girls, especially our black girls feel loved? I overhear comments from adults everyday:

Hmmph, that is a mess. Look at her!

Her mama, oughta whip her butt.

Somebody should tell her she's making a fool of herself.

I can almost hear you saying, "Dr. Jeri, you have lost it! These kids today are crazy. C-R-A-Z-Why would I even get involved?" I understand that some teens are not approachable but honestly, we have to do something with our youth.

I heard one mother speaking to her daughter in my clinic. I asked the mother to step out of the room and she lovingly looked at her daughter and said, "I'll be in the lobby, Beautiful." I glanced over at the daughter to see her expression. She wasn't embarassed nor did she exude a sense of arrogance. She openly received her mother's affection as a gesture of LOVE that's all nothing more. Her daughter was average-looking. As a matter of fact, I had seen better looking girls in the street. What that young girl displayed in her behavior and her interactions with me was a sense of BELONGING. She knew who she was and to whom she belonged.

I have heard other mother's refuse to speak well of their daughters by making comments like, "I don't want her to get the bighead." Get the bighead? I have one comment for that: If we don't esteem our daughters and let them know how wonderful they are, someone else will and he may just be your worst nightmare!

Our girls are not perfect but let's lift them up for the good qualities that count in life. Many of these young ladies are creative, hard-working, loving, gentle, intelligent, caring, talented and strong. These traits can't be sold at any make-up counter. Begin to see and support the good in our girls.

When we water their seeds and pull out the weeds they're certain to grow into beautiful flowers.

Don't Hit the Breaks!

2010-05-31T12:27:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

As you can tell by my limited number of Facebook, Twitter and Blog posts I have been really busy. For the past two weeks things have been happening for me at neck-breaking speed!! I don't know if you're like me but when things seem to be moving too fast, the first thing I want to do is hit the breaks, but that's the last thing I should do.

You may remember when I went ziplining this past Spring. For those of you wondering, a zipline is when you slide along a tethered wire suspended high in the air at superfast speeds. Some lines are placed across waterfalls or bodies of water. Others are placed high above valleys from one peak to another. In most instances zipliners will receive a quick training session before actually zipping. The instructors will often tell you to watch them and let them direct you as you're flying.

One of the things my instructors told our team was to avoid the temptation to slow yourself down when you reach high speeds. His reasoning was you need that speed gained during momentum to carry you all the way across to the finish. If you slow down prematurely you will need to pull yourself across the finish which will slow down the group and exhaust you in the process.

In this season of my life things are accelerating quickly; but all I can hear is my instructor saying, "Just pay attention to the sites and enjoy the ride." That's my advice for you. When things are moving fast and the fear inside you wants to control the momentum by pressing the breaks, don't hit the breaks! Just sit back and enjoy the ride knowing that God is the driver: He won't let you crash!

See you on the other side!!!

Step Into Greatness

2010-05-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

As a doctor I hear so many excuses about why people feel they will never accomplish great things. In order to do great things you have to be willing to take risks.

Risk looking silly.

Risk your reputation of playing it safe.

No one ever won MVP (most valuable player) sitting on the sidelines. Come on!! Get up and do something.

STEP into your greatness. Have a plan and work towards that plan. It's so easy to sit back and allow negative comments to stop you in your tracks.

Often people make excuses for not going forward. They may say things like,

"I want to check it out some more before I decide."

Well you've been checking it out for almost a year and you're still stuck. One of my mentors calls this paralysis of analysis. In other words you evaluate, assess, examine, scrutinize, investigate and probe a matter to no end all without making a decision. It's alright to reassess your goals in making plans for your future but eventually you have to make a move!

Don't allow fear to keep you frozen in time. There is no one that can keep you from accomplishing the things God has created you to do.

GET IN THE KNOW Family, God has GREAT plans for your future. Plans to prosper you and bring you peace not evil. Go on! Take that first step! You'll be glad you did.

The Green-eyed Monster: Jealousy

2010-05-03T11:00:00.000-04:00

How do you deal with the green-eyed monster called jealousy?

One of my mentees, Tanya, recently told me about the girls at her school ganging-up on her. They hated the attention Tanya received from others when she sang for school plays and concerts. These girls would go out of their way to make her feel sad.

When Tanya would wear certain clothes to school some of those same girls would say, "She thinks she's so cute." Afterwards they would come to school wearing a similar outfit. Some of them even started talking like her.

Most of Tanya's drama was simply a result of jealousy. Often I hear stories about girls and guys who have encountered the green-eyed monster of jealousy. As humans, there will always be people around us who may be envious of what we have, who we are or how we look.

When you are a successful teen, you may often find yourself the focus of much Hater-Aid. Never dumb down to make someone else feel adequate. There is nothing you can do to make an envious person treat you well so it's best to just move past them.

And for all the Haters who want to "keep up with the Joneses", I once heard a wise man say:

"Don't watch the Joneses, you never know how they got what they have!"

Focus on this statement when you think someone else has it better than you. GET IN THE KNOW Teens, stay focused and be thankful for your own life experiences. Stop comparing yourself to others. God made you uniquely different for his own purpose.

I KNOW the Children Are Our Future!

2010-04-25T22:25:00.000-04:00

Jasmine -- (top photo)

Champagne -- (bottom photo)

GITK Family,

So often I hear adults saying things like, "I would but I don't know how." Comments like this are mere excuses. This weekend I witnessed as two phenomenal teen ladies were honored by dignitaries in the Nation's Capital for the work they do within the community.

Miss Jasmine, 13 year-old member of Daughters of Destiny (sponsored by Sisters4Sisters, Inc.) spoke at this year's event. She challenged the women to take note of the good things that younger people are doing in her speech. She summed it up with one sentence: "We are not the lost generation. Let me repeat... We are NOT the lost generation!"

Champagne Cade, 17 year-old female from the Maryland area was honored by Sisters4Sisters, Inc. Organization for her work in domestic violence. You may have seen Champagne's mother, Yvette Cade, on The Oprah Winfrey show a while back. Yvette was the victim of a brutal attack by her former husband who set her on fire burning most of her body. Since that time Champagne has worked tirelessly to educate children and adults about the devastating effects of domestic violence.

After seeing these two ladies I KNOW the children are our future... and it's rather bright I might add.

In The Dignity of Difference author Jonathon Sacks wrote:

“One of the most important distinctions I have learned in the course of reflection on Jewish history is the difference between optimism and hope.

Optimism is the belief that things will get better.

Hope is the faith that, together, we can make things better.”

Optimism is a passive virtue; hope (is) an active one. It takes no courage to be an optimist, but it takes a great deal of courage to have hope.

Quit wishing and start working like these ladies. I want to challenge the GITK family to use their hope and make this world a better place.

What Happens in Vegas...

2010-04-15T03:59:00.001-04:00

For years Las Vegas has been known as Sin City. People call it a playground for adults. The Las Vegas tourism commercials tout Vegas as the place where you can do what you want and never be caught: "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas"

Walking up and down "The Strip" a person can see and have access to whatever their pockets can afford: sex, drugs or anything else you can imagine.

I'm on The Strip now attending The Society of Pediatric & Adolescent Gynecology's Annual Meeting. The pictures we are seeing in these lectures need to be put on a huge placard outside of the hotel. It would really make people stop and think before they take that trip from the casino floor to the hotel room above... I believe in having fun but at what expense? Is it really worth it?!

Don't let the advertisements fool you,

"What Happens in Vegas" may stay in Vegas

but a STD will follow your butt home!

(I love you but I gotta keep it real!)

Think before you leap!

Reach Back: Be a Mentor

2010-04-08T13:05:00.000-04:00

This famous painting "He Ain't Heavy" by Gilbert Young says it all.

It's so easy to finish a task and just move on to the next thing but life never affords us the opportunity to move forward without reaching back to pull others up with us. The best way to achieve greatness is to help someone else become great. We often hear people speak of this but it is very rare that we see people giving back at this level.

Many times the fear that our pupil will one day become our teacher is the thing that prohibits many from pouring all the good they posses into someone else.

I was reading one of Dr. Ben Carson's books, "Take the Risk." One of the passages spoke to the importance of mentoring so I had to blog about it:

(As a teacher) It's so much easier to do it all yourself... But if everybody did that, nobody else would ever learn how to do it. And when the teacher died, the skill would be lost. So at some point, you have to take that risk. If you do it right, you reduce the risk. A good teacher watches the skills and progress of his student and knows when he can trust (and release) that student.

Like this painting, we should never arrive at a place where we forget those who are coming up behind us. I often think of the women and men who have personally helped me become the woman I am today.

When blazing a new trail make certain

there are people following you who benefit from your hard work.

When you're leading a group you should have a distinct destination.

Give back... Become a mentor.

You can always make a lasting impression.

N-Joy the Journey

2010-03-31T11:33:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

we often find ourselves rushing from point A to point B only to realize we missed the sights along the way. I was recently on the west coast for a meeting. It had been a long time since I had an opportunity to slow down like this. When I initially arrived in the mountains I was on Fast Forward: walking fast and talking faster!

I could hear the Lord saying, "SLOW DOWN... LISTEN..."

It took me TWO days but I finally slowed down enough to enjoy the scenery. I went on three nature hikes and even enjoyed my first zipline in the Redwood Forrest. It was phenomenal! Hiking along those trails gave me a chance to hear God and see his creation.

During this trip I had an opportunity to rejoice with some friends and share the frustrations and disappointments of others.

On day five, I heard God clearly say to me:

Every time you touch another's life, you allow me to touch them through your hands. In your efforts to get to a final destination, don't miss the beauty along the journey. I have so much to show you.
Slow down...
Listen...
Enjoy the journey!

I learned a wonderful lesson this week. Check out my facebook page for pictures of my recent trip. Don't forget to N-Joy the Journey!!

Talk to the Hand!!

2010-03-21T12:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Teens,

I was outraged when one of my mentees came to me and shared her story. This girl has a 3.998 GPA (grade point average) on a 4.0 scale. In other words, the girl is smart. She told me her school counselor was trying to convince her to change her dreams of becoming an orthopedic surgeon because "Girls don't become those types of doctors."

What?!!! I can introduce him to at least 5 personal friends who are "those types of doctors."

Teens, I'm telling you there are some strange characters in this world. The nerve of some people trying to limit you because they have no vision for themselves. People do it all the time: place their inabilities on others...

“Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and something distinctive and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done.” Benjamin E. Mays

Each of us has a responsibility to leave our indelible imprint on this world to make it a better place. Don't allow anyone to kill your dreams. I call them dream thieves, sitting in dark corners just waiting to kill someone's dream...

When people try to kill your dreams with negativity and doubt. (You may have to get indignant) Tell 'em out loud: "Talk to the hand, because I'm not even trying to understand."

KEEP MOVING FORWARD

2010-03-14T17:33:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

During this inclement weather I have had a lot of time to catch up on movies.

I recently saw an older movie about a young orphaned boy who was an inventor. He experienced failure after failure. At one of the lowest points in his life, he was allowed to go into the future and met himself as an adult. While visiting the future he saw all he had accomplished, his future wife, his children and his extended family. He had a wonderful life as an adult! The things he saw in his future encouraged him in his present situation.

He also had a chance to go back in time and confront his birth mother who gave him up for adoption. At this point in the movie he had a choice to make, should he try to change his past or let things remain and ultimately experience his great future? He decided to let go of the past and "keep moving forward" that became his motto. I wonder what things we would strive towards if we could met ourselves in the future.

Although he saw his future nothing was set in stone. He had to make the right decisions in his present to see that same great future.

Like the main character in this movie, we also need to make the right decisions in order to see our great futures. Since we cannot change our past it's best that we let it go. I don't have a crystal ball but I can assure you, if you make good choices you're likely to have a great outcome.

Many people think "The Future" is far off and become frustrated with the process. I have news for you: The future has arrived today! In this next moment your FUTURE has become your NOW so be ready.

We all have made mistakes in the past but if we just keep moving forward those mistakes will become part of a greater story. Every time we fail we should choose to learn from that failure. Here's to your past failures and your future successes.

Let go of past and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!! You have a BRIGHT FUTURE.

It's time for us to GET IN THE KNOW so we can GROW.

Dr. Jeri Dyson is "Helping Teens Become Successful in Every Area of Life!"

Break Out of the Box!!

2010-03-07T12:00:00.002-05:00

GITK Family,

It's time to break out of your box!

A box represents all the limitations that keep you from experiencing your best life ever.

Don't you want to live life to the fullest and experience ALL that God has planned for you? Many people never fulfill their true calling because of fear.

Take Nick Vujicic for instance, he's a 29 year old man from Australia who was born with NO ARMS and NO LEGS (that's Nick being tossed around at a boys school and loving it.) He's a world renowned minister, motivator and a phenomenal speaker. Most teens love Nick because he's REAL! (and rather comical...) I once heard him say, "Fear is the biggest disability of all and will paralyze you more than being in a wheelchair."

Nick has every right to make excuses for leading a less fulfilled life yet he chooses to give God his BEST! Most adults are miserable doing what they do yet they're afraid to change. They feel life is safer where they are so they stand still and complain. Why complain when you can change?

I had a colleague tell me, "I don't chase after my dreams because what if it's not what I expected once I get it?" What if it's BETTER than you expected?!!!! I don't know about you, but I refuse to let fear keep me in misery!! I saw a sign that read:

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

Every time I get fearful, I ask myself those words. GITK teens, do what you need to do NOW to experience the life you were created to live.

Be like Nick Vujicic, he went from a life without limbs to A LIFE WITHOUT LIMITS!!

Break out of the box and LIVE A GREAT LIFE... A God-ordained LIFE!

I am breaking out of my box by "Helping Teens Become Successful in Every Area of Life!" Visit me at http://www.drjerispeaks.com and let me know what you're doing to break out of your box!

Sexting Part 2: Tips for Parents & Teens

2010-02-27T19:00:00.004-05:00

This week's episode of Dr. Jeri Speaks Radio Show was on effective communication between parents and teens. Have you ever gotten a text message from a teen and wondered: "What the huh?"

As promised I wanted to include a list of common sext acronyms and their meaning for parents and teens who may be unsure of what the true message is.

Sexting (sex+ text= sexting) includes sending/opening inappropriate pics through text messaging or sending sexual comments. Sexting has become extremely common among teens and adults but do you really know what ur txtn (you are texting)? Take this short quiz to assess your texting skills:

CD9
GNOC
KPC
PAL
RUH
TDTM
IWSN
Q2C
GYPO

Here are the answers:

CD9 - Code 9 - it means parents are around.
GNOC- get naked on camera
KPC - keeping parents clueless
PAL - parents are listening
RUH - are you horny?
TDTM - talk dirty to me
IWSN - I want sex now
Q2C -quick to cum
GYPO - get your pants off

How well did you do on the sexting quiz? Just another reason to spend more time with your teens. Get to know them and let them know you so we can break those communication barriers. Be Safe & Happy texting.

Create a Beautiful Space Part 2: Express yourself

2010-02-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,

Now that you have decluttered your area and created a more open environment to live work and play, it's time to beautify your space even further. This is part 2 of our post on Creating a Beautiful Space.

I remember as a kid when I would write and draw on the walls only to have my mom discipline me. My dad thought it was kinda cute. I don't know why I got in trouble- I was just expressing my creativity. (yeah right)

Well now there's a new way to write on your walls. I personally love the wall art found at Lana Kole Design Studio. It's inexpensive and tasteful. The Lana Kole vinyl decals are removable and won't leave marks on your walls so this is perfect for dorm life. Your room or office should reflect your personal taste. These decals are also a great way to bring color to a plain white room when painting is out of the question.

Lana Kole Design Studio even offers motivational sayings (like the "just be" package) that help you make it through the day with more energy. It's all about making your space livable and increasing your productivity. Now that you have cleaned your space and taken the suggestions from our previous post, it's time to take it up a notch!

Remember, your new space should reflect the new you. Try it, you just might like it.

Create a Beautiful Space Part 1: Get Organized

2010-02-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,

It's time to get organized! Disorder and clutter can hinder your productivity. Ever been in a stiuation where you needed to finish an assignment only to discover you couldn't find your flow? Your work environment has a lot to do with it. Working in an area that is full of stuff has been known to hinder one's creativity. Often holding on to things that clutter your space may be a sign that something else is going on emotionally.

If you've tried to clear out things in the past and noticed that you merely shifted the items from one side of the room to the other, you may need to get some help with this project. Often an outside party doesn't have the same emotional attachment to items that you may have.

When you look at an old sweater, you see your loving grandmother who sacrificed to buy you this "timeless treasure." The outside person helping you declutter just sees an old sweater from 1978 with fuzzballs and out-of-date patterns. It may sound funny but an outsider really can help you in this process. You can choose a friend, a family member or someone you know who's really great with organizing.

Although it may seem like a meaningless task, getting your area organized will increase your productivity and enhance your creativity.

Organizers often say you should have 3 piles:

things you keep

things you give and

things you trash

Regarding clothes, if you haven't worn it in 3 years (some experts say 2 years), more than likely you won't wear it again so give it away. Remember, you didn't make the mess in a day so don't try to clean-up everything in one day. Start small and pace yourself.

Your new space should reflect the new you. Let us know what changes you're making to declutter your life at www.drjerispeaks.com.

Did I Post that Out Loud?!!

2010-02-01T04:30:00.002-05:00

GITK Teens,

can we talk for a minute? I have been on social networking sites for a good while and some of these posts are... how should I say this? TRASH!!!

Have you ever had a thought that was so powerful that it accidently slipped from your lips? Once you realize that you made such a comment, you usually ask those around you, "Did I say that out loud?" Well, posting certain comments on FB makes one wonder, "Did he POST that out loud?"

You never know who will be looking at your page, pics, comments or video uploads.

There was an article in 2009 that cited nearly 1/2 of US employers search for job candidates on social networking sites like FB and MySpace. Posted pics of you drunk out of your mind at a party or saying inappropriate things could cost you the job. During interviews, we all project the "us" we want people to see. In a community of online friends & family, we have a tendency to let our guards down and the "REAL US" comes blaring through.

People!!! Posting comments and tagging pics on FB is similar to putting those pics on TV. In fact there are more eyes on the internet than there will ever be on television. It's inevitable. The things you post can and will be held against you in the real world. So watch what you post!!!

Be smart out there and make wise choices. Visit me at www.drjerispeaks.com. I want to see you in the winner's circle!

Finish the course.

2010-01-25T10:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard people talk a good game and even start out on a particular course?

I often encounter people who start out strong only to drop off before completing the job.

This week, they're into photography. Next week they want to learn ice skating. The next month they're learning how to play the electric guitar. You run into this same person a year later only to find out they have dropped the photography, skating lessons, and the electric guitar to become a chef! (In your mind you're thinking, "Choose something and stick with it!")

All these things are great. You can even do more than one if you just stick with what you've chosen.

Some people will often quit a thing if they can't pick it up naturally. Most things don't come naturally. EVERYONE has to practice. Even the greatest athletes practice. I once heard Micheal Jordan say during an interview that he practiced basketball every day. There wasn't a day that passed where he wasn't on the court tightening up his game. He is considered by many to be the best. In order to be the best, you have to work at it. Most skills don't come naturally. Even if they do, there is always room for improvement.

GITK teens, resist the temptation to quit. If you can stick with something long enough you may find that you are better at a skill than you thought possible. Finish the course! You will be excited and proud once you have accomplished the goals set before you. See yourself at the finish line.

Pediatricians Head to Haiti to Help.

2010-01-17T08:59:00.000-05:00

Many of my colleagues from work head to Haiti on the USNS Comfort (a full-service floating medical hospital capable of treating 1000 patients) to aid in the disaster relief. Dr. Dan Shmorhun and Dr. Erica Beard-Irvine from the US Navy and two of our Pediatric Corpsman: Long and Okusa set sail Saturday headed to Haiti. Each of them left their children to go help other children.

You may not be able to go to Haiti but please make monetary donations to the Haiti relief fund of your choice. Every penny counts. Continue to pray for our Haitian brothers and sisters as well as their family members who live elsewhere waiting to hear a word about surviving relatives.

If you are still able to talk with your family members, let them know how much you love & appreciate them (even if they get on your nerves at times). It's moments like this that cause us to really put first things first.

We'll talk soon.

Pay Attention to the Signs of Change

2010-01-10T05:00:00.000-05:00

"Change is the essence of life.
Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

Author unknown

In life we are constantly presented with change. We change locations, jobs, clothes, positions, even grade levels... Change is inevitable.

It never fails to amaze me how change takes so many of us by surprise. Before any change there are often signs of its coming but in our haste we often overlook those signs.

In nature seasons don't just jump from Winter to Spring, or Summer to Fall. There are often signs preceeding the seasonal change. In the transition from Winter to Spring, you may see blossoming trees bud, the hours of sunlight become longer, or there may be a slight temperature difference from the previous weeks. Whatever the change may be, there are always signs.

Just like nature, we have signs in our lives that tell us change is approaching.

You wouldn't wear shorts and a tee shirt in January, would you? So why do we go through life wearing old clothes into a new season? Pay attention to the signs around you because you may need to add extra covering to help you weather the change. You may even need to shed some extra layers in this new season. Whatever your shift, pay attention so you're ready for the change.

It's already in You!

2010-01-03T11:00:00.000-05:00

Family, during this winter break I have been watching old movies and I have to say that one of my all-time favorites is "The Wiz." It's a story about 4 characters who travel through this magical land to acquire different traits. The Scarecrow wants a brain (intelligence). The Lion is looking for courage (boldness and bravery.) The Tin man wants a heart (to give and receive love.) The main character Dorothy has been displaced and is trying to find her way back home (comfort, love, support.) Their aim is to follow this yellow brick road to meet The Wiz so he can give them the things they desire.

Throughout their journey, these four encounter many obstacles that cause them to use the very skills they so feverishly seek from The Wiz. I won't ruin the story, but needless to say, their journey ends in a big disappointment. They later discover that everything they long for is already found within them, even Dorothy.

Many people find themselves wandering through life looking for things or people to complete them. I want you to know that everything you need to be fulfilled in life has already been placed within you. There is no need to look to others for fulfillment. People can only enhance what's already there. You are the promised land that you so feverishly seek because from within you flows the milk and honey if you just let Jesus shine through you.

Be encouraged. Like Prego spaghetti sauce, whatever you're looking for: "It's in there."

Get Over It!!

2009-12-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

GITK Family,

I have a colleague who's life is filled with constant drama. Most of the matters she complains about are not even that devastating. She's one of those people who just loves to be in the middle of craziness.

I once heard my friend tell another family member to:

"Get Over It! When we choose to rise above a situation and press past where we are currently, we begin to realize that the thing which seemed so overwhelming before is not that important."
(paraphrased)

Let me give you an example, if you ever get the chance to take a helicopter tour during rush hour in a major city, you will see just what she means. On the ground there may be a major traffic jam that keeps the drivers below in gridlock; but when you are in a helicopter, you are literally riding above that situation so it isn't as pressing from your perspective. Sure, there may be a lot happening on the ground beneath you but because you are on a different plane, the traffic jam is of little consequence to you.

This year I want you to rise to a new level of being. Some people have learned to live in their dysfunction rather than rise to a new level. People often say, "I'm going to another level." The best thing you can do is prepare to LIVE at a higher level. Change is the only constant so get used to it.

One piece of advice I can give you when faced with calamitous situations that are out of your control, Get Over It! Use everything in your power to rise above the situation... literally and figuratively...

Make 2010 the BEST year you ever had.

Learn from every experience.

Live in the moments.

Maximize each opportunity that comes your way...

Laugh hard and often.

Walk Circumspectly!

2009-12-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you heard but the Washington area was covered with a thick blanket of snow this weekend 18-24 inches to be exact.

The meteorologists are calling it "The Blizzard '09."

With all the snow there are endless warnings out there:

Lift the snow while bending at your knees.

Push the snow when you're shoveling your walk or driveway...

Make certain you completely remove the snow from your vehicle.

Drive with caution because some spots have black ice.

If possible, avoid driving unless you just have to be somewhere...

Bundle-up and remove the snow in segments. Don't try to do it all at once.

With all the slick roads and walkways you can see people slipping on the ice. So they are stepping lightly and making certain each step is steady. People walk differently after a snow storm than they would in the summertime.

The first thing I heard when I woke up this morning was, "Walk Circumspectly."

Similar to walking on ice in life we need to be careful how we live. Live your life purposefully and intentionally, not like someone who just aimlessly comes and goes. This coming year, I want you to analyze everything you do: from the people you hang with, to the words you say about yourself. Make certain that everything you do is intentional because every choice has consequences.

Be thoughtful of how you treat others.
Mind how you talk to people: a simple comment said in the wrong tone can start a fight.
Watch the people you socialize with...
PLAN for a better future.
MOVE on your plan!

When you do this you are guaranteed not to fall. See you in 2010!!!

It's the finish that matters

2009-12-11T09:00:00.001-05:00

GITK Family,

It's not how you start the race but how you finish. We all have felt pressure to quit in the middle of the race. I can remember my first 1/2 marathon a few years ago. About half-way through, I just knew I was going to die. I had trained for the race but running in the real event was very different from the practice.

I can recall the echo of the starting gun. There were thousands of runners participating that day. Some people darted out! Bobbing and weaving around other runners. The less aggressive runners (like me) hung back and stayed in the rear.

I ran the event with some friends and co-workers, there were about 8 of us running. The others came out to support our effort.

About 1 mile into the race, the person I trained with took off and left me. It was OK because I had found just the right pace to keep me from collapsing in that hot sun. At the 1/2 way point, my body began to talk to me. It said, "Turn back! Give it up!! Stop right here!!" But when I looked at my surroundings, I realized I was too far to turn back. I began to think, "If I turn back, I will exert the same amount of energy to get to the starting line so why not keep moving forward?"

Once I saw the finish line in front of me, I got a new found strength! Crossing that line was a great physical accomplishment for me.

It's the same way in life. Many times we start out good only to quit in the midst of our journey. We look at all the people around us: those who started out with us who may have passed us along the way, the ones who dropped out early in the race, all the while comparing ourselves...

It's almost the end of 2009 and some of you are feeling like your dreams are not coming to fruition. No matter how easy it may seem to turn back and go to your familiar place, keep pressing forward. 2010 promises to be a great year. In 2010 you win!!!

The race of life is not given to the fastest or to the strongest, but to the one who continues until the end, so don't stop. Keep moving forward. You will cross that finish line! I'll see you in the winner's circle!!

Are You Spread Too Thin? Press Reset

2009-12-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

In this day we live in, it is common for teens to have schedules rivaling that of many adults. Football practice, ballet, after school meetings, term papers, college applications, weekend rehearsals, student government...

These activities add up! It is amazing how a few activities can chip away from the hours in your day.

Have you ever been in that zone where everything is coming at you all at once? That is the perfect time to press the reset button.

Although it is important to participate in extracurricular activities; at some point enough is enough! When you take on too many activities you spread yourself thin limiting your ability to fully apply yourself to each task. The more activities you have the less focused you become.

Excellence in work takes time and intentional effort. Don't be afraid to limit your involvement. If you are feeling overwhelmed, talk with your parents. We're getting closer to the winter break for many students. This holiday I want you to pull back, reassess your schedule of events and PRESS RESET.

Dr. Jeri Dyson on BET's 106 & Park!

2009-11-21T03:00:00.000-05:00

Tune in to BET's 106 & Park to see Dr. Jeri speak on World AIDS Day.

Dr. Jeri will answer your questions about HIV/AIDS live on the show.

To post your questions, sign-up for Twitter with 106 & Park.

You can also post comments and vote for your favorite videos.

See you December 1st at 6:00 PM on BET.

Tell your friends...

Hollywood and Washington join forces to fight HIV/AIDS!!!

2009-11-15T04:00:00.000-05:00

"Walk the Red Carpet for a Cause- HIV/AIDS"

Join GET IN THE KNOW with Dr. Jeri Dyson, the National Medical Association and BET's Rap-It-Up Campaign for the premier of

"God, Me... HIV?"

Meet us at The Newseum

555 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20001

November 30, 2009 at 6:30PM

This night promises to be one full of fashion, fun and facts as we gather to fight this virus that affects us all. To attend this spectacular event, RSVP at (202) 347-1895. This event is FREE and space is limited.

Help them Reach a little higher

2009-11-09T05:43:00.000-05:00

I came across this photograph by Tom Q called "On the Shoulders of Giants." I thought it was a perfect description of how adults should position themselves to help the younger ones reach a little higher. I find it intriguing that these two are at the Veteran's Memorial Wall in our Nation's Capital. Every year around this time, hundreds of family members and friends gather at "The Wall" to pay respect to those who helped pave the way for Americans to experience the freedoms we now have.

I believe we all stand on the shoulders of those who have made contributions before us. No one accomplishes anything by themselves. Our dependence on others is God's way of showing us that we each play an integral part to another's success.

It reminds me of the words I posted in my initial blog on this website:

Many of us bought into a lie… Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate our forefathers and mothers. I salute them for their bravery. I applaud them for their tenacity and courage. Yet, somehow, I can’t help but think they are displeased with our complacency.
... this is not what hundreds of people died and sacrificed themselves for. People weren’t hanged, burned and tolerant of temporal injustices for this. We can’t stop here. Do not park! We must keep moving… AS painstakingly hard as it is, every time I hear an African American child who’s about to graduate from senior high-school speaking like Stepin’ Fetchit with no clue that they violated every grammatical law known to the English language… I realize we can’t stop.
(November 2008)

We should challenge our youth to go farther, aim higher, and do much more than we ever did. There should be no limits in life. The only limits our youth have are the ones we let them continue to believe they have.

GITK would like to wish our veterans a Happy Veteran's Day. We appreciate you for helping us reach a little higher and go a little farther.

Love Stories

2009-11-01T05:00:00.000-05:00

Join Dr. Dyson

at the magnificent

Hyatt Regency Bay Golf Resort, Spa & Marina on

the tranquil waters of

Cambridge, Maryland

for

"Love Stories"

An intimate talk about Love and our distorted perceptions of Love

This event will be held Friday, November 6 - Sunday, November 8, 2009

Other speakers include Dr. Lonise Bias and Minister Joyce Ortiz

For more information and day registration contact (301) 808-7812 or (202) 257-2558

The Blame Game

2009-10-24T05:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Teens,

we are living in a time when most people around us try to find someone else to blame for their mistakes in life. I was talking with a teen at a youth rally and he said it was his father's fault that he was arrested and sentenced to jail. The teen's reasoning, "He was never there for me."

Now, if I really believed fatherlessness was the sole cause for this young man's bad choices in life, everyone we know who had an absent father would have the same story as this young man.

I do agree that our lives can be adversely impacted by the absence of a father; however, the fact remains:

We are responsible for the final decisions we make in life. And all decisions have consequences.

It's funny how we never hear people blame others for their successes in life. People will say, "I was influenced by this person..." but rarely do we blame others for something good.

Blame is an escape mechanism used to emotionally free oneself from the consequences of bad decisions. It is no more than a diversion of attention away from what you did onto another. It's not right and it's cowardly. The next time you suffer the consequences of poor decision making, be honest with yourself, that's the only way you can learn from your mistake and move forward to a more triumphant life.

Just remember when you have one finger pointed at me, there are 4 more pointed at you. Don't play the blame game because nobody wins, especially not you!!

No Disrespect!!

2009-10-12T04:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Teens,

I want to share a short story about a young lady who began dating this guy:

"At first everything seemed cool. He would pick her up from school and take her home. He became very concerned about who she was hanging out with. He wanted to know "where she went" and "why it took so long to return his text messages." Initially she was flattered by his concern. She assumed he was just making certain she was safe.

After a few weeks of dating, she noticed his personality changing. He began to put her down in front of his friends and demand more time with her. She was a little nervous but as long as she did what he said, they really didn't have a problem.

One day she decided to hang out with some friends after class. When she got home he was sitting on her front steps and began to cuss her out. She tried to ignore him but he started shoving her in the face. His threats soon became her reality landing her in the Emergency Room. The guy she once loved had become the guy she feared!"

I tell this story so you can see the quick decline of a relationship when you tolerate foolishness. This guy said he loved her but had an AWFUL way of showing it!! Love never hurts...

You should never tolerate disrespect! If you allow disrespect, you will be disrespected. I once heard a professor make a great point:

"People are always fussing about how someone is riding their back.
I tell them: A person can't ride your back if you stand up straight."

Teens, it's time to take a stand. Don't allow anyone to disrespect or mistreat you. It may start out as friendly jesting but before long it will become outright disrespect.

Never tolerate:

Someone speaking to you in a demeaning manner.
Someone cursing at you or putting you down.
Someone pushing, shoving, slapping or choking you. (Not even "play fighting")
Someone forcing you to do something you don't want to do.

The sooner you deal with their indiscretions, the sooner their behavior will change towards you. If they don't change their attitude, you may need to change friends. Life is simple, we make it hard.

Join me in Greenbelt, Maryland for the

Silent Tears No More Domestic Violence Empowerment Breakfast, October 31st at Martins Crosswinds.

Visit www.sisters4sisters.com for more information.

It's a Flu Zoo out there

2009-10-04T03:00:00.002-04:00

Here we are again in the Fall of 2009 with people coughing and hacking, sneezing and sniffling. But the coolest part to me is all the masks!!

In this quarter's Keys to Health, I discuss the flu! Join me as I talk about the latest recommendations for the seasonal flu vaccine, the difference between the Swine Flu and the seasonal flu, indications for TAMIFLU use, and precautions you should take to avoid becoming ill this season. I even discuss the myths behind the flu shot "making you sick."

Visit the Keys to Health section of my home page for keys that will help you stay healthier this fall/winter. For more facts on the Swine or Seasonal Flu go to www.cdc.gov.

If you have specific concerns about the flu, post your questions to our blog at www.drjerispeaks.com

Stay tuned in to Keys to Health for tips on staying healthy this and every season!

Change Your View.

2009-09-27T07:00:00.001-04:00

What do you see when you look at this picture?

I have asked people this question. Some look at this picture and see a piece of wood with a hole in it. While others look and see a beautiful horizon in the near distance. It's all in how you look at it.

This picture is a lot like life. We choose what things we focus in on.

Often in life when we take a closer look, we can see the endless possibilities that lie before us. Things are not always as they first appear. When hinderances come your way in life, you can see a blockage or a window of opportunity.

Whenever you see an open window, there will always be endless possibilities. A change in your view, can change your entire destiny. Take the time to see the best in all things! Stay encouraged and keep looking for that open window.

Talk to you next week!!

Try it Again!

2009-09-13T05:00:00.002-04:00

The one thing I have learned in life through all of our challenges and oppositions we must be persistent. Persistence is the ability to continue along a course of action despite opposition and difficulty.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933)

You can have talent, genius, and intelligence but none of this will gain you success if you don't have persistence. It's strange but the fact is most successful people have overcome great obstacles to get where they are in life. (Homelessness, poverty, abuse, drugs and abandonment just to name a few.)

I can recall having to take a certification exam 5 times before passing it. I could have easily given up, especially since it cost about $1000 each time I took it. Taking that exam multiple times showed me that I was no quitter. It also reinforced the fact that I needed to continue to pursue a thing if I wanted it badly enough. Making mistakes is a part of life's journey.

No great thing is accomplished without opposition. So if greatness is a part of your future, get ready for a fight! Remember, you will come out on top if you don't quit.

Be persistent!!

This is not High School Musical, So Cut the Drama!!

2009-09-07T05:00:00.002-04:00

It's time to go back to school and a new school year means new relationships. I want to give you some tips to make this year the best school year ever. Our goal at GET IN THE KNOW with Dr. Jeri Dyson is to help teens make healthy decisions about their lives. Your emotional health is just as important as the physical. This school year I want you to get connected with people who are good for you.

GITK TEENS, it's important to know that you can have healthy relationships.

It amazes me how some people no matter where they are can always find a way to be in the middle of drama. They are just consumed by DRAMA! It's almost as if life is meaningless unless they're in the midst of mess... You have seen these types of people. Everything is calm until they arrive on the scene. Well, I'm declaring this school year there will be "No more drama!!!" I want to share some tips on how to avoid, Drama Magnets.

Ask yourself the following questions (Be honest this is for your own good):

Do I feel better or worse than I did before this person came around?
Is this person willing to work through conflicts?
Is this person willing to admit their wrongs in the relationship or is it always my fault?
Does this person pressure me to do things I don't want to do?
Do they often go around stirring up confusion or blowing things out of proportion?
Does this person use drugs or alcohol? (By the way, marijuana is grown naturally but it is still considered an illicit drug)
Does this person loose their temper or blame me when things go wrong?
Does this person say bad things about me or try to embarrass me in front of others?
Does this person do things that make me feel afraid?
Do I get into trouble or do things I know my parents would not approve of whenever I'm with this person?
Does this person pick fights/arguments with others and leave me standing there to fight it out?

Agreement with any of these questions is a sign that you may be involved in an unhealthy friendship. You have to be willing to avoid bad relationships at all costs. The sooner you end it, the more likely you are to find someone who is a good fit for you. One note of caution, this list of questions is not just for your romantic relationships, it includes friends you simply like hanging out with.

If you are ever afraid to end a bad relationship find an adult you feel comfortable talking to. Staying in a relationship that's bad for you just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings is not a smart move. This school year is all about making the right moves!

Post to our blog and let us know how you plan on making this your best school year ever. Visit www.drjerispeaks.com

Driving 101: Hang up the Phone and Drive!!!

2009-08-30T05:00:00.001-04:00

I was commuting to work during rush-hour and happened to look over at the driver beside me. In glancing over I noticed this lady was putting on mascara, talking on the telephone and attempting to eat her breakfast.

In a scenario like this, you want to move as far away from this driver as possible.

If you happen to be a driver who attempts to multi-task while driving, don't. Either wake-up earlier and do this stuff at home or wait until you arrive at your destination to finish up things.

There was a segment about distractions and driving featured on National Public Radio. Scientists have compared multitasking & driving to drinking & driving. Here is the reason:

Driving and Multitasking:

JON HAMILTON of NPR says: Driving requires a surprising amount of brain power. Out on the road, we have to process huge amounts of visual information, predict the actions of other drivers, and coordinate precise movements of our hands and feet. That's why people learning to drive don't do anything else.

Dr. MARCEL JUST (Neuroscientist, Carnegie Mellon University): Novice drivers turn off the radio. They ask you not to talk to them. They need all the brain participation they can get for the driving.
HAMILTON: But that changes with experience. Over time, the brain rewires itself to get the job done very efficiently. So when our eyes see a red light, our foot hits the brake. Marcel Just says driving becomes automatic.

They summed up the report to say, your brain can actually trick you into believing you have everything under control but what you don't realize is that it's blocking out key information from your peripheral vision. That, my friends, is what makes us prone to accidents.

In some states, it is illegal to drive and talk on the cellphone without a hands-free device. More states are passing laws like this one.

Like our last blogpost on driving and texting: "Safety Comes First"

Be careful out there on the highways! You can always return the call later.

Rumors Part 2: Network Gossip Girls

2009-08-17T05:00:00.000-04:00

Gurl,have you heard the news?...

Did you know they were a couple?...

Did you hear about what happened to Susan this summer?...

Can you believe he did that to his best friend?...

Blah, blah, blah....

It seems like someone is sending me an update every 30 seconds on Facebook or Twitter. This cyberspace thing has gotten out of hand. You can even see who broke up with whom on some myspace pages. Oh, man! Give me a break from all this "Breaking News!" It's ridiculous.

Family, there are some people in life who make it their business to learn and spread other people's business. If the shoe was on the other foot, they would not be so quick to spread mischief. Hot gossip can often be intriguing but most of the time it's harmful.

Did you know that you can be negatively effected just by listening to gossip? Even if you're not involved in the story. Gossip can make you look at a person differently. It can even cause a breach in relationships.

Be cautious when people come to you spreading information that has nothing to do with you. Even if it's true information, ask yourself "Is it necessary for me to share this information?"

The next time someone comes over to you and says, " Did you hear?" THINK first and then act accordingly, don't be a network gossip girl.

See our last post on Rumors Part 1: THINK

Post your comments on our blog and let us know how you will stay free from gossip.

Are We There Yet?

2009-08-06T05:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Family,

In our final days of summer with all the trips to vacation spots, kids often ask parents that dreaded question: "Are we there yet?" This is such a common thing that Hollywood made a movie about it. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't ask it every 10 minutes. As a parent, you can feel the tension rise each time it's asked. In some families, parents won't tell their children where they are headed during road trips because the shear anticipation would cause them to ask this question even more!

Imagine us as teens & adults on life's journey. When God has promised us such great things we often go through life anticipating our final stop so much that we don't enjoy the trip. We find ourselves asking the same questions, "Am I there yet? How much longer now? How much farther, God?"

I can hear the Father saying to us, "Stop asking me 'how much longer' and enjoy the ride!"

I often speak to youth about going for their goals. The world we live in is all about planning & scripting, networking & hustling to make things happen. But there are times in life when you've made all the moves, given all the money, joined all the right groups, made the right connections and still... Nothing has happened!!!

In these moments, allow the peace of God and the knowledge that His plans for you cannot be thwarted keep you in a calm mindset. Stay in a rested state. Trips where you sleep most of the way don't seem so long. I'm not saying "zone out on life." I just want you to stay calm when it seems like it's taking forever.

Keep Daddy from pulling the car over because that will really slow things down. Just enjoy the ride. All the pit stops, gas breaks, scenic detours, rest stops and diners on the trail. Every stop you make is an important part of life's journey.

Your questioning and agitation won't help you arrive any faster. So sit back, relax & ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!!

Stay Focused!

2009-07-30T00:00:00.001-04:00

Take a look at the picture to the left. If you're getting dizzy it's because you are focused in on the wrong things.

GITK Family, so often we become distracted by things in life that hinder our progress. It can be a relationship break-up, relocating to a different country, being disappointed by a friend, being overlooked for a position... The list is endless.

Many times life brings us turns we don't expect. To maintain momentum and keep moving we must stay focused.

I had a colleague who also played tennis professionally before pursuing medicine full-time. I would often find myself attempting to get her attention by calling her name only to have my beckonings go unnoticed. Once I approached her about this and she said:

"Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't even hear you. When I played tennis, I would often have people in the stands calling my name and it would throw me off my game if I listened to them. So I trained myself to tune out all distractions when I'm focused on a project or completing a task. That's the only way I can get things done."

Just like my colleague, we need to tune out the distractions so we can get the job done. You ALL have great things in store for you but constant distractions will keep you from hitting the mark every time. Begin to train yourself to stay focused and avoid distractions. You can accomplish your goals within your projected timeline if you just stay focused.

The world is yours so explore it!

2009-07-18T01:00:00.000-04:00

My cousin, Jasmine, was recently featured in Seventeen and Cosmo magazine for the Superdentist Self-Esteem & Smiles articles.

Initially Jasmine didn't want to submit her manuscript for the magazine. She asked her mother, "What if I'm not chosen?" Her fear of being rejected almost kept her from entering the contest. Fortunately she pushed her fear aside, submitted her essay and was selected along with 15 other girls from across this nation to be represented in these teen magazines. Jasmine was 1 of 2 African American girls chosen for this issue. To see Jasmine's story check "Superdentist Self-esteem and Smiles Magazine Event" on www.youtube.com.

Another story that really touched my heart was the story of Kimberly Anyadike. She is the youngest African American female to pilot a cross-country flight at the age of 15. To hear her fantastic story, click on this video link http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2009/07/20/nr.kimberly.anyadike.cnn .

I often encounter teens who limit themselves because of fear. Remember, just like Jasmine and Kimberly, you can do anything! Anything is possible.

The only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves. When you begin to have fearful thoughts like "What if I don't make it?" or "What if I don't succeed?" Begin to change your thinking and ask yourself, "What if I do succeed?"

As a GITK teen, I challenge you to boldly go forward and conquer that fear! What if you do succeed? The world is at your disposal.

Rumors Part 1: THINK

2009-07-12T05:00:00.001-04:00

GITK Family,

this is a two-part blog entry about spreading information you hear from others. The Telephone Game is a good example of how information changes the more it's passed along. Secondhand information leads to poor communication but 5th-hand is the worst information of all!

How do you handle rumors? What if the news being spread was about you? Would you be as liberal in sharing it? I think not!

One way to handle rumors is to THINK before you speak. I once heard a teacher tell a group of students: "Before you listen to the gossip or even share the gossip, T.H.I.N.K. about it:

Is this information True?

Is this information Helpful to the person you're telling?

Is it Important that they know this information?

Is this information Necessary to the daily functioning of that person?

Is it a Kind thought of that person?"

In order to pass this THINK test, you need to answer yes to all of these questions. If it doesn't pass the THINK test, drop the information in the nearest shredder.

So before you run and tell that, stop and THINK!!

We at GET IN THE KNOW like to keep people informed but misinformation can cause more damage than good. Post your comments on our blog.

Texting 101. Part 3: Laugh out Loud!!!

2009-07-05T05:00:00.000-04:00

GET IN THE KNOW Family,

this article was in the Washington Examiner newspaper a few weeks ago. Normally, people on the Metro are very somber in the early morning. There were a number of riders on the train reading the newspaper on their way to work. Every now and then, I would hear someone burst into laughter while reading. Eventually, I found out what all the laughter was about.

I tore the article out because it was funny and made me laugh out loud! The crazy part is that the title of the article was "LOL."

This post is simply for your enjoyment:

"Two juveniles learned a valuable lesson: If your accomplice gets caught breaking into a house and is being questioned by the cops, don't text him to say where you're hiding. Police in South Florida found one of the juveniles using his cell phone to shed light into a window. While police questioned him, the other boy text-messaged, saying he was hiding near a pool at a neighboring house because the cops were looking for him. Both boys were charged with burglary."

That is the epitome of technology taking a brother down... Text wisely and stay out of other folks' houses! A cheerful heart doeth good like a medicine. My advice for this week: LAUGH OUT LOUD!

Rest in Peace... Love with Passion! Send Flowers Today!

2009-06-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

GITK Family,

I have attended countless funerals and seen people stand up before crowds and bestow wonderful accolades on the person laying in the casket. All the while thinking, "That would be great if they could only hear what you're saying."

Then my eyes pan the room to see all the floral arrangements and plants that overpower the family and friends seated in the front. I can't help but think, "Did these coworkers, family members, fellow worshipers, neighbors or friends ever send her flowers while she was alive?"

Wait, wait, wait... Before you decide to skip this entry and tune me out, hear me out. With last weeks deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, the D.C. Metro Subway accident (9 deaths) and Ed McMahon it has never been more clear that we wait until loved ones die to express our appreciation for them.

I believe in sending flowers and speaking words of affirmation and grace to others; but let's do it while they can still appreciate them! The efforts are fine and the benevolence does not go unnoticed but how much greater for someone to hear your beautiful thoughts of them while they are still alive? My friend and I call it "giving you flowers while you can smell them."

I think it would be great to adopt the habit of "sending people flowers." Flowers can be words of encouragement, gestures of kindness, giving compliments or anything else that can bring a smile to someone's face. Like Michael Jackson said, "Make it a better world for you and for me and the entire human race."

Try it out on somebody today. Not only will it make them smile, it may just have a positive effect on you. Before you (RIP) Rest in Peace, please Love with Passion!!!

Visit us at www.drjerispeaks.com for more tips of healthy living. Maximize your moments.

Driving 101: Friends do not let friends text and drive!!!

2009-06-17T05:00:00.000-04:00

GITK teens,

I heard a story on the news about 3 teens killed texting and driving. You can do a lot of things at the same time but texting and driving is NOT one of them. I came across this photo. It's a picture of the last text message sent while someone was driving. It reads: "im dead, lol" ("I'm dead, laugh out loud") Not so funny, huh...

It is very tempting to pick up the phone and check the last text that came through on your cell while you're driving. But at all costs, resist the urge. As drivers we need to be fully aware of our surroundings. It doesn't matter if you have been driving for 6 months or 20 years SAFETY COMES FIRST.

On the road, you are driving for yourself and the others around you, so be safe.

Insist that your friends use caution when driving especially if you're in the car with them. When I'm in a car with someone driving carelessly I just blurt out, "Precious cargo here. Drive with caution!!" That usually gets their attention and makes them drive more carefully.

Be safe on the highway! No txtn N drivin. (No texting and driving)

Resist the Urge to Splurge!!

2009-06-10T05:00:00.000-04:00

As individuals, we don't get bail-outs like big businesses so we must resist the urge to splurge and save as much as we can. I recently gave our GITK teens some tips for summer employment. The last thing you want to do is spend all the money you make this summer on wasteful purchases.

Don't get me wrong, I want you to enjoy the fruit of your labor, just don't eat it all at once. Save at least 15% of your earnings. (It may come in handy when you go back to school this fall.)

If you have to spend money do it wisely. Never pay full price for items like clothing and shoes. Those clothes in the front of the store will be in the back on the clearance rack in a few weeks. Just be patient.

If you have to eat out at restaurants, look through the newspapers for coupons. Restaurants are being hit by this economic crunch too. You may be able to find coupons to some of your favorite restaurants.

If you're saving up for a big purchase like a car or computer, you want to check around for the best deals. Don't jump at the first offer.

Do everything in your power to make as much as you can and save as much as you can this summer. Savings is the name of the game!