Monday, January 5, 2015

Four Ways to Avoid Self-Sabotage

Happy New Year, blog family!
I'm certain you have prepared your resolutions and goals for 2015 like so many others.  Before you start working towards manifesting those goals I want to share a few tips that will keep you on the right track.  In previous blogs/podcasts I discussed ways to write your goals and keep them measurable.  (Click this audio link for details on setting measurable goals at the beginning of the year. )  This time I thought I would give my readers the four obstacles to avoid self-sabotage this year.  Self-sabotage is doing the very thing that prevents you from moving forward to your next big thing be it romantically, fiscally, vocationally or any other "ly" you can think of.  It's time to set goals and reach them.   

Did you know you can actually trick yourself into thinking you're achieving what you set out to achieve when your actions are taking you further away from what you are supposed to be doing?  Yep.  It's possible to work hard and fool yourself away from your predestined path. Here are a few examples:
1. Helping a friend with their noble cause!  I can not begin to tell you how many people will call on you to help them complete their project.  Don't get me wrong I wholeheartedly believe in the ministry of helps but at what cost?  You can not afford to pour your all into another person's vision only to be left too exhausted to complete your mission.  You will need to temper yourself when it comes to volunteering for other's missions.  Even if it's a paid agreement remember balance is the key to happiness.  When it's all said and done that good feeling of helping another in their life's dream will be fast fading when you realize their dreams are manifesting while yours are at a stand still.

2. Opting for quantity over quality. People spend too much effort trying to connect with people who don't want to stay connected to them.  My sister, Sheila and I were talking this weekend about her family's business.  During her training she would stress to their service providers the importance of giving perks to your most valued and loyal clients - similar to a points program for airlines and hotels.  She said there are two types of clients/customers.  The first is the one who has no commitment to you or your business. They want the most stuff for the cheapest price and will give you the hardest time in servicing them.  The second customer is the faithful customer who appreciates your service/work and will maintain a working relationship with you over time.  All you need to do is produce quality work in a timely manner and they will be happy.  These are the same ones who will refer others to your business. Always invest your time, talents and business perks in the second group.  Stop investing your creativity and money to capture the hearts of people who don't value what you uniquely bring to their life.   

3. Allowing life's dark moments to distract you.  Each of us will experience setbacks, disappointments, breakdowns and upsets from time to time.  These lows are never cause to abort the plan altogether.  We all need varying amounts of time to get ourselves together, re-strategize and heal but don't lose yourself during those down times.  By all means take some time out but never use that at a sign to stop pursuing your passion.  

4. Being too available!  TIME management is your most valuable asset.  Since I have resigned from my full-time job people have it in their heads that I can sit and chit-chat with them any time they feel they need to reach out.  Not so!!!!  When you own your own business it is mandatory that you value your time like you did when you were working for another company.   "If you're not in the habit of treating your business like a true business everyone else will treat it like a hobby," paraphrased from my business coach Zenovia Andrews.  Offer people a time slot and stick to that time.  The best way to lose track and miss your goals is to allow people to infringe upon your work time.  Sure I understand that your life's work may be fun and pleasurable but it's still your work.   I don't care if you're meditating, exercising, doing research, meeting on a conference call, eating lunch or finger painting!  It's your time.   Create a schedule and stick with it.  Many of the wealthiest people I know maintain strict calendars.  Time is something you can't recover so don't waste it.

Visit me at and let me know which one you may have the most challenge with this year.  I promise to help you be accountable in accomplishing your goals for 2015!  See you at the finish line.  


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