Thursday, June 18, 2015

An Intimacy Expert?!

Get this. The other day my father came to me while editing my business cards and said, "You may not want to tell people you're an intimacy expert?  When I was at the Washington Post they did a feature on sex experts who would go around having sex with people to show them how it's done."

You can not begin to imagine the look on my face when he said that to me.  I wanted to bust out laughing in his face but he was so serious.  ("Bless his heart," I thought to myself.)

Instead of laughing I decided to educate.  "Daddy, what do you think of when I say intimacy expert?"

"That's the person who has sex with people and shows them how to do it.  Right?" he responded.

By now my chocolate face is completely red and all I could say was, "Daddy, are you kidding me right now!!!  Did you just meet me?!!!"  

As time passed I thought about others who may be confused on the subject of intimacy and it's TRUE meaning.  The best description I found is from Matthew Kelly.

Having intimacy means exposing our secrets. Being intimate means sharing the secrets of our hearts, minds, and souls with another fragile and imperfect human being. Intimacy requires that we allow another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats at us, what we are running toward, what we are running from, what silent self-destructive enemies lie within us, and what wild and wonderful dreams we hold in our hearts.  This is the greatest gift we can give to another human being: to allow him or her to simply see us for who we are, with our strengths and weaknesses, faults, failings, flaws, defects, talents, abilities, achievements, and potential.Intimacy requires that we allow another person into our heart, mind, body, and soul. In its purest form, it is a complete and unrestrained sharing of self. Not all relationships are worthy of such a complete intimacy, but our primary relationship should be.

The funniest part about intimacy is that most humans desire to be liked/loved for "who they are" but fail to fully open themselves to another person for fear of rejection?

Think about it.  Most people will say they are fine when in fact they are hurting on the inside.  So many people go through life putting on airs and fronts for so long that they themselves begin to believe the lies they tell.

Be honest. Most people think of sex when they hear the word intimacy.  In fact if you were to google the word intimacy you would land on more sites about sex than intimacy.  

Until we fully understand it's true meaning we can never have the type of love we say we want ~ (And I'm not only speaking in terms of romance.)  In order to truly LIVE you must be bold enough to be your TRUE self - the good, the bad, the ugly, the smelly, the funny, the angry, the fullness of you.

That is why I am here:  to help people unveil the true them and be alright with themselves first before they expect others to be alright with them.

Remember intimacy requires one to share every aspect of themselves with another.  That's a bold kinda living and loving!

Until next time!

P.S. ~
Happy Father's Day to my one and only Dad who thinks his daughter is a sex trainer.  (Gotta love him.  It's too late to send him back for a refund!!!)


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