Wonder Woman is a cartoon character!!

This week's post is dedicated to all my GITK ladies who "run the world"

Being a woman in today's world carries many different definitions for people.  Some young ladies are trained to believe womanhood is synonymous with "independence."   On one hand independence is great!  But independence to the extreme becomes "self-reliance" and that, my friends, is not a good character trait.


This past weekend I was in the grocery store and I saw another lady with a set of infant twins (one screaming at the top of his lungs), a shopping cart full of bags and a rambunctious 4 year old grabbing for candy in the checkout lane.  The bagger asked if she needed help to her car and she quickly said, "No.  I have it..."  


The next day I observed a lady at the airport's baggage claim with waaaaaaay too many bags to handle on her own.  A gentleman also waiting for his luggage came up beside her and said, "Can I help you remove those heavier bags from the conveyor?"

"Oh, no. I GOT IT" was her response.

All I could do was to think to myself:  "It's OK to let somebody else GET IT sometimes.  It doesn't make you less of a woman."

Being powerful while continuing to express your femininity requires a delicate interplay of skill and finesse.  (Please note: I'm not referring to using your sensuality to manipulate people... that's a whole different blogpost.)  When I saw these ladies I couldn't help but think: "Where did this Wonder Woman mindset come from?"

Maybe it was The Women's Liberation Movement????   No, I don't think so.  Women's liberation was not designed to "take away" our womanly traits.  It was established to give women rights and privileges so we could be acknowledged fairly for our contributions to society.  This movement was pivotal for women but I believe we moved pass the intended mark into a different realm.

I have spent time with some very powerful women executives and discovered that there is a time to be the "Power Suit" but eventually you have to take that power suit off.  This idea of women as "Supersexualized Sensual Sheroes" has got to end.  You may remember the popular 80's TV commercial for Enjoli perfume that tried to make women think they were super-human:

I can put the wash on the line, feed the kids, get dressed, pass out the kisses and get to work by 5 to 9..

Cause I'm a woman...

I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

And never let you forget you're a man...

I can come home at five o'clock

Come home and read you 'Tick & Tock'

And if it's lovin' you want I can kiss you and give you the shivers ----

Women have become so accustomed to doing everything that many of us leave little room for people to come in and assist us.  Ladies, it's OK to let someone else have your back!!!  It really is.  Don't misunderstand me.  I am not downplaying our contributions.  And I also understand some women have been forced into these take-charge positions by circumstances beyond their control...  But don't allow yourselves to stay in that place because it's not healthy.  

I enjoy being a lady and I enjoy the freedom to implement my dreams as envisioned.  Yes, there are moments when I'm "running the show" but I never let those moments of "Power" usurp the times when I should step back and let someone else "run the show."

"Running the show" is one thing but "Running yourself in the ground" is a totally different matter.  


Ladies, please remember:   Wonder woman is a fantasy cartoon character...  Don't try to bring her to life!!  Make this a great week!!

Emerging & Becoming

GITK Family,
It seems like everywhere I look people are enthralled with butterflies.  I see butterflies on clothes, jewelry and even wall decals.  My cousin and I were recently talking about butterflies and she mentioned how butterflies emerge from a cocoon.  The weird part was that I just saw an episode about butterflies and moths on the children's television show "Little Bill" before she made her comment.  After watching "Little Bill" I learned that butterflies don't emerge from cocoons; moths do.  I hear countless people walking around talking about how they themselves are simply "butterflies emerging from their cocoons."  Often we ignorantly repeat comments without checking the facts so I was lead to do a little research...

Butterflies and Moths may look alike but they actually function totally different from each other.
For starters:

Butterflies have thin smooth bodies, are active in the daytime, can be extremely colorful, and experience their pupal stage in a hard structure called a CHRYSALIS.

Moths have thick fuzzy bodies, are active at night, are usually dull in color and experience their pupal stage in a soft silky structure called a COCOON.

Both insects live primarily on liquids they suck for food but butterflies eat nectar or sap while moths eat on decaying items.  Moths also chew holes in clothing & linen in an attempt to extract nutrients. Moths cause destruction whereas butterflies represent new life.  There are some exceptions to these rules: although day flying moths are brightly colored don't be fooled because this variation of moth is extremely toxic.

Should you ever decide to refer to yourself using these winged creatures as an example of where you are in life, be certain you know which one you plan on becoming.  Will you be like the moth and breakforth from a cocoon using the remainder of your life feasting on dead things, dead ideas and fruitless ventures?

Or will you be like that butterfly emerging from a chrysalis full of color (life), making the most of your day, feeding on the sweet nectar of life?  The choice is yours.  

(Oh, remember: Just because its flashy & colorful doesn't necessarily make it a butterfly! Poisonous moths can also be quite colorful so use discernment.)  

This post is dedicated to all my butterfly lovers.  Keep flying and make this a GREAT week!!!

Who needs VIP status?!!

I recently received an invitation to an exclusive event. I thought the invites were kinda creative. They were in the form of VIP Passes. I couldn't help but think:

"Who wouldn't want to be a guest at this party? If the invitations are like this, who knows what's in store for the evening."

It always fascinates me how some people go to great lengths to be given VIP (very important person) status. What is more amazing is how many feel like outsiders if they aren't included in the "VIP" clique.

From the inception you have to know that you are important even when other's don't recognize it.

I remember NOT being invited to this BIG shindig. It seemed as though everybody else was "in the house" but me- I was disappointed to say the least. At that time in my life, I allowed my emotions to convince me that EVERY-body but me was at the event. (Why do we make comments like this? If EVERY-body was there I would have been there too- DUH.)

Why do we allow ourselves to get in such a twist about feeling left out? Don't!! It took me some time but I eventually realized that I prefer being celebrated NOT tolerated. In other words, none of us should consider ourselves less important because we're not on somebody else's VIP list.

Living in D.C. you run into a lot of people who think they're muckety-mucks. I was hanging out with a good friend who told me, "I wish I was going to that party. All the VIPs are going to be at this reception."

My reply to him was, "Well, I know my name is not on the list because I'm not a VIP. I'm an EIP and you need top security clearance to get EIP status!!"

After pausing for a few seconds with bewilderment plastered all over his face he asked, "What in the world is EIP?"

I stared at him and said with a matter-of-fact tone, "EXTREMELY Important Person!!" We both burst into laughter and went on with the evening enjoying our time together.

Just know whether your friends tell you or not, I think you're an EIP!!!

Make this the BEST week of your life!

Talking Sex with Your Children

A GITK Family member asked me a question many people in my profession receive: "When should I talk with my children about sex?" I decided to blog my response since many parents deal with this dilemma.

"How and when you decide to talk with your children about sex" has always stumped parents. Talking about sex with your child will only be as comfortable as you make it. There is no such thing as "the talk." Discussing sexual behavior with your child should be a dialogue: as they mature, so should your conversation.

If your children are younger (toddlers 2-6 years), it's best to begin talking with them about their bodies: start with the proper names for private body parts, appropriate and inappropriate touching...

As they get older (school aged: 6-10) their level of exposure will increase so you must be ready and willing to discuss sexual matters with your child. Discussions at this age should include kissing, rubbing, and touching... If you notice sexual undertones while watching television or listening to music with your child, this may be the best time to continue your discussion at a more in depth level.

Tweens and Teens (ages 11 and older) are more independent than younger children and often enjoy texting, chat rooms and spending time on internet sites like Myspace. Having these liberties may further expose them to bigger sexual issues, like sexual predators.

Most parents would be surprised if they knew what their kids were exposed to on a daily basis. Kids in school, church groups, boy scouts, and other social settings talk about sex. (Even children who are home schooled will be exposed to sex in one way or another.) Sex may not be their only conversation but it will come up eventually.

Ignoring the subject will not make it go away. If you don't talk to your children about sex, someone else will and the information they receive may not always be correct.

If you need sources for more information, try your local bookstore. Bookstores and libraries have entire sections on sexuality that are geared towards helping parents talk with their children. Here are some of the resources I recommend to parents:

1. "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health" by Robie Harris
   
2. "What's Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask" by Karen Gravelle
3. "Period: A girls Guide" by JoAnn Loulan
4. " A Girl's (Boy's) Guide to Becoming a Teen" by The American Medical Association
5. "What's Happening to Me?: Boy's Edition by Alex Firth

These are just a few examples of available resources. Make time to talk with your children. Most importantly, don't be afraid to LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN. You may think you're teaching them something, but I always believe they have a few things to teach us as well.

For more suggestions, contact us at info@drjerispeaks.com