When to Move On in a Relationship

Spring is in the air and we all know what that means, as the flowers blossom so do our love relationships.

Love is always fun.  Well, it should be anyway.   It never ceases to amaze me how ladies fail to trust their own gut when it comes to romantic relationships.  Sometimes we want to be in a relationship so badly that we forfeit our personal needs just to say we are "in a relationship."

Spring is in the air and the warmer the weather becomes the more those of you without a "Boo" will long to be "Boo'd up."   There is absolutely nothing wrong with being in a relationship but your goal should be to connect with someone who is also attracted to you.

We live in a time when people don't like reading so I decided to share a short video to help women understand men.  Take a look...

I will be rolling out more videos about relationships and dating.  To stay up to date on what's going on with me visit www.drjeridyson.com and sign up for my mailing list.  Talk to you soon!

Four Ways to Avoid Self-Sabotage

Happy New Year, blog family!

I'm certain you have prepared your resolutions and goals for 2015 like so many others.  Before you start working towards manifesting those goals I want to share a few tips that will keep you on the right track.  In previous blogs/podcasts I discussed ways to write your goals and keep them measurable.  (Click this audio link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drjerispeaks/2011/01/08/new-year-new-you-how-to-keep-those-ridiculous-resolutions for details on setting measurable goals at the beginning of the year. )  This time I thought I would give my readers the four obstacles to avoid self-sabotage this year.  Self-sabotage is doing the very thing that prevents you from moving forward to your next big thing be it romantically, fiscally, vocationally or any other "ly" you can think of.  It's time to set goals and reach them.   

Did you know you can actually trick yourself into thinking you're achieving what you set out to achieve when your actions are taking you further away from what you are supposed to be doing?  Yep.  It's possible to work hard and fool yourself away from your predestined path. Here are a few examples:

  

1. Helping a friend with their noble cause!  I can not begin to tell you how many people will call on you to help them complete their project.  Don't get me wrong I wholeheartedly believe in the ministry of helps but at what cost?  You can not afford to pour your all into another person's vision only to be left too exhausted to complete your mission.  You will need to temper yourself when it comes to volunteering for other's missions.  Even if it's a paid agreement remember balance is the key to happiness.  When it's all said and done that good feeling of helping another in their life's dream will be fast fading when you realize their dreams are manifesting while yours are at a stand still.

2. Opting for quantity over quality. People spend too much effort trying to connect with people who don't want to stay connected to them.  My sister, Sheila and I were talking this weekend about her family's business.  During her training she would stress to their service providers the importance of giving perks to your most valued and loyal clients - similar to a points program for airlines and hotels.  She said there are two types of clients/customers.  The first is the one who has no commitment to you or your business. They want the most stuff for the cheapest price and will give you the hardest time in servicing them.  The second customer is the faithful customer who appreciates your service/work and will maintain a working relationship with you over time.  All you need to do is produce quality work in a timely manner and they will be happy.  These are the same ones who will refer others to your business. Always invest your time, talents and business perks in the second group.  Stop investing your creativity and money to capture the hearts of people who don't value what you uniquely bring to their life.   

3. Allowing life's dark moments to distract you.  Each of us will experience setbacks, disappointments, breakdowns and upsets from time to time.  These lows are never cause to abort the plan altogether.  We all need varying amounts of time to get ourselves together, re-strategize and heal but don't lose yourself during those down times.  By all means take some time out but never use that at a sign to stop pursuing your passion.  

4. Being too available!  TIME management is your most valuable asset.  Since I have resigned from my full-time job people have it in their heads that I can sit and chit-chat with them any time they feel they need to reach out.  Not so!!!!  When you own your own business it is mandatory that you value your time like you did when you were working for another company.   "If you're not in the habit of treating your business like a true business everyone else will treat it like a hobby," paraphrased from my business coach Zenovia Andrews.  Offer people a time slot and stick to that time.  The best way to lose track and miss your goals is to allow people to infringe upon your work time.  Sure I understand that your life's work may be fun and pleasurable but it's still your work.   I don't care if you're meditating, exercising, doing research, meeting on a conference call, eating lunch or finger painting!  It's your time.   Create a schedule and stick with it.  Many of the wealthiest people I know maintain strict calendars.  Time is something you can't recover so don't waste it.

Visit me at www.drjeridyson.com and let me know which one you may have the most challenge with this year.  I promise to help you be accountable in accomplishing your goals for 2015!  See you at the finish line.  

   

My Leap of Faith

Launching out into my Faith Walk has been a rather enjoyable journey for me. This Fall I resigned from my full time clinical position as a medical physician at a prestigious institution.  I knew my time on that job was coming to a close and once I resigned the most amazing thing happened.  I was invited by the U.S. State Department as their international guest speaker for the South Pacific Islands!!  The timing of the invitation was surreal.  I had no idea this invitation would present itself when it did.  The exact day I made a decision to step down was the same day I received their verbal invitation.

Thirty days after my resignation I was flying to Suva, Fiji and Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea (PNG) to launch my global speaking tour.  During my travels I also visited Brisbane, Australia and Tokyo, Japan.  My intended audience was adolescents (teens and young adults) but by the time the tour ended there were more adults in the room than adolescents.   The tour's theme was "Find Your Voice & Activate Your Life!"

Our timing of the tour could not have been any better!  I was invited by the U.S. Embassies there to speak during three major events: 16 Days of Activism, Day of Tolerance and World AIDS Day. Each observation important on its own yet delicately relevant to the others. (If you are like I was with little knowledge of the first two I encourage you to look them up.)

As I journeyed to the other side of the  world an extraordinarily long way from home: 24 hours from Los Angeles, 6 hours from Singapore, 2 hours from Cairns, off Australia's northern coast I realized one thing; the women of these countries needed the same things all humans need. To be acknowledged
To be heard
To have folks listen open heartedly without judgement.

Throughout my two week tour I was given the opportunity to speak to hundreds of school aged youth during my visits in Fjij and PNG.  I visited secondary schools, colleges, a shelter for battered women, held meetings with governmental officials, educators and community leaders. I even toured the women's facilities at their regional prison and spoke for and with the inmates. 

Although my trip had a dark subject matter from time to time I couldn't help but be excited about the futures of these young people.  What encouraged me most were the hundreds of younger women who were eager for empowerment and the young men willing to aid them in their quest for change.   To say I was blessed with the opportunity to speak life into the next generation of world changers is an understatement.

Typically a more reserved culture with extremely quiet youth boxed in by imposed taboos and beliefs they literally talked to me for hours.   As I spoke to the crowds of "hungry" youth I could sense the power of change and enlightenment flowing through me to them igniting the atmosphere.

One common theme often expressed regardless of where I went was the outcry for improved women's rights in these countries. PNG has one of the highest rates of gender based violence and rape globally and many of the women are sexually violated in their teen years.

I'll close with this: Whenever you're feeling fearful about your next leap of faith just think of all the lives that will be touched by your act of boldness, namely your own.  Take a deep breath, say a prayer of courage and JUMP!!!  If you start falling remember to spread your wings and soar!!  

For more information and pictures of my South Pacific speaking tour check out my website  www.drjeridyson.com and let me know what you plan on doing to soar in 2015.  

Maybe all the ice in these buckets will WAKE us up!

What's all the hype about?  Was the first question I posed when I initially saw all these people responding to the ice bucket challenge on social media.  At first I was unclear about this entire ALS fundraising campaign and decided to gather more information before commenting about it.

My assumption was when you dump the ice on your head you were agreeing to make a financial donation to the ALS society. There were quite a few questions rolling around in my head.  First and foremost, "How will the ALS Association collect on these challenges? And who's to say that everyone dumping ice is going to donate?  Or do they dump the ice water on themselves instead of donating money to the research of ALS? Hmmmm..."

I saw an article that read: "The ice bucket challenge videos are raising the awareness of the disease."  Really?  Before trying to answer the finance questions I wondered how many of the people pouring ice water even understood what ALS was.  No let's make it simpler than that, "What does the acronym ALS stand for?"  That should get a rousing group on answers.  

So I started asking? 

I would have thought in all the media coverage and television ice bucket challenges that SOMEONE would have done a report on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.  NOT the ice bucket challenge but the disease that inspired the challenge.  So I went to friends and the internet to find out what they know about ALS. Hmmmmmm..............  

Let's just say we know more about the ice bucket challenge than anything else associated with it.  

ALS, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's Disease are different names of the same debilitating illness of the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control voluntary movement.  

I have a friend wino went to the best physicians in the world for more than five years before he was diagnosed with  this disease.  To see him move like a crippled senior at the age of 38 is heart wrenching.  You can see from his facial expression that each movement is an internal fight between his brain and his arms and legs.  It's as if his limbs have decided to rebel against him and all do their own separate thing!  As I thought about him, a young black man with this disease I couldn't help but wonder how much of that money will go towards EDUCATING doctors about diagnosing this disease earlier.  You see my friend doesn't fit the typical picture of an ALS patient:  He is African American (93% of patients are Caucasian) and started exhibiting signs in his early 30's (average age of diagnosis is 55.)

I don't know... Not judging anyone who has participated in any way to raise money for ALS research. Just hopeful.  Maybe all these public cold showers will make people truly WAKE UP!  The next few months will tell